The World According to Ai Ming

Old friend

2012-01-30T23:04:00.004+11:00

"Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know,
Oh oh,
You don't know you're beautiful."

- One Direction, "What Makes You Beautiful" -

I just want to say that, I'm glad we can still talk about anything under the sun.

PS:

Damnit. That song is just so annoyingly catchy.

BONK BONK BONK BONK

2012-01-27T16:17:00.004+11:00

We were at the dinner table savouring the dishes my mum cooked up for the family. She rarely cooks so when she does, it's only for the Chinese New Year, when all my cousins, aunties, and uncles gather under one roof. As we started eating, no conversation was made so there's only the clinking sound of cutleries hitting against the ceramic bowls and plates, only if one paid enough attention to it. But this not-so-awkward silence was pierced through by the unexpectedly loud noise of a rubber ball bouncing on the marble floor. We paused and looked at each other for a few seconds, then simultaneously shifted our gaze to the empty seat where the youngest member of the family, my nephew was sitting.... It's now empty.

My aunt gasps, "AHHHH KEN!!!!!!!"

Out of curiosity, I excused myself from the dinner to check out what was my nephew doing. It turns out that he's having a ball in the living room by himself. Note the pun. heh.

*Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk*

I bought this rubber ball for myself when the Pixar movie, Monster Inc. came out in 2001. And obviously, the ball isn't meant for people of my size but I love the animation too much.

I couldn't stop laughing seeing how much fun he was having.

I laugh even harder when he slipped and went, "WOOOW WOOOWW WOOOOW~ AHHHH~"

My favourite snap. It looks as if he's floating in the air, like something you would see in StarWars. HAHAHAHAHA. A jedi master!

Finally, exhausted.

I realized that my house is quite kids friendly because I still keep some of my favourite toys at random places in the house. It's like a treasure hunt for them when they come over and the first prize seems to be my Sony Play Stations.

PS:

There goes another Chinese New Year. Time flies.

PPS:

Getting ready to head back to Melbourne :)

Something I Love...

2012-01-13T01:07:00.013+11:00

It's to scrutinize my own x-ray films

Isn't it amazing? To find out what's going on Inside you. Not figuratively speaking but literally. Your bones, your guts, your bodily functions... all these physical things that make up who you are as a living thing.

Absolutely fascinating.

Well, right to the point when you're told how fucked up things are going on inside you. Cue the thunder.

tsssk tsssk.

I went to see a Chiro in my hometown today because I've always known that my posture is really bad, even at such tender age of 23. pffft. Neck and head salah, knees salah, ankles salah, too flat footed yada yada...

But one of the biggest issues that have been bothering me is the discomfort I have been experiencing around my head, neck and shoulders. Apparently, I was told that the muscle around my neck is too weak, while the muscle around my shoulders are too stiff so there's restricted movements in those areas and I would suffer the consequences much worse as I age, not so gracefully.

Sigh.

Check out the two grey lines drawn of the side profile of my x-ray, the straighter line is the current shape of my neck while it's supposed to have that natural curve like the line drawn next to it. As a result, I'm prescribed to commit to 4 sets of rehab exercises, three times a day, 10 repetitions of each set.

Don't judge me if I have to excuse myself after every meal to do my exercises.

Yes people, really gotta take good care of your bone structures as they are crucial in holding everything together and to keep them in place. Also, it's important to keep an active lifestyle. Because I was nagged by my Chiropractor today that, all these problems that I'm suffering now is mainly because I was a couch potato for more than 18 years of my life. All due to the fact that, I was overweight, overly pampered as on only kid and last but not least, incredibly lazy beyond all reasons. I didn't have to lift a finger around the house and I could get away with it.

I thought I was SO SMART and SO LUCKY but not so much anymore huh.

My chiro gave an inspirational speech about how recovery is not gonna be easy, while pressing hard into my sore shoulders making me screamed mutely to myself. And that I have to endure the pain in order to make up for the wrongs I had done to my body when everything was still right.

Ouch.

Good news is, it's never too late to make changes.

PS:

You know times have shifted when you are more excited about spending RM600 on a pillow than on a pair of shoes from Bimba & Lola.

Not just any pillow, but The Millennium pillow.

That's its real name. No kidding.

PPS:

Off to Penang for the weekend!

To get fed and to see my favourite girls.

Baby is Home

2012-01-06T04:34:00.008+11:00

It's been a week since I last landed. There were a lot of meet-ups and catching up over meals, mostly with close friends and families. This trip back home, I'm not in the mood for shopping for clothes or driving down to KL to lepak. Because whenever I think of all the junks I've accumulated in Melbourne, I shiver from anxiety and refrain from buying more things that I actually need. So, I just don't put myself in situations where I know I won't be able to resist the abundant temptations.

Such a good start. heh.

Instead, am just enjoying the less hectic lifestyle of my hometown, prefer chilling on the couch to read up on books and watch TV. I'm currently hooked on the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series recommended by my aunt. They make such perfect light reading materials and oh-so-inspirational.

Love 'em.

Here are some snippets of my week...

Roaming around on the land of Siew paus. In fact, I always get asked, what exactly are "Siew Paus". Well, they are like normal paus you get from having dim sum, but they are baked instead of steamed.

The J twins were back in town for dinner at our usual cheap-eat spot in Seremban, where crabs coated with salted egg yolks is always the staple dish. It's a whole new level of unhealthiness, we know.

Came home and was greeted by a new ride. I'm ditching the MINI. For real.

We had some house visits. My family and I love admiring the interior design of houses, especially those multi-million villas. And my little cousins were obviously having a ball running around and posing in front of a Christmas tree. While I'm at it, I would check out the owner's reading list, representative of the guidance on their journey in getting to where they are now.

Saw this walk-in closet in IKEA and decided that my future wardrobe in my future house will look like this. Did I mention that I love IKEA?

Of clown-like bowling shoes, consecutive failed attempts in keeping the ball from rolling into the longkang on both side of the alley, extremely smelly RM2 disposable white socks... I officially disapprove adopting bowling as a hobby. Sheesh.

Love family dinners that require team work and team spirit in sapu-ing all the dishes off the plates.

"You take the last two pieces of chicken!"

"No, I would take one and you take the other."

"Who wants some wings?"

Apparently, we get 40 degrees in Malaysia too. Not only in the Summer of Melbourne.

My two little cousins are the most adorable kids. I asked for a third furry crown headband and they didn't have one for me. iSad.

And here's to the most adorable dog with a personality. Or should it be called dogonality? How lame.

Before that I was living the life of a curious tourist in Melbourne, and now, I think I feel like a 50 year-old retiree.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T00:16:00.005+11:00

2011 was a great year.

I've lost myself in love and I've found love in unexpected places. I've made mistakes and I have learnt that everything is okay at the end of the day anyway. I've discovered new grounds, established friendships like never before. Best of all, I've graduated from Australia's finest institution, survived 6 years in a foreign land and came out a better person. I've grown, without forgoing the kid in me. I sure know how to have fun and enjoy life because I believe that everything is just a matter of choice. I used to hate choices, now, I love them and embrace them with an open mind, an open heart.

I know 2012 is going to be equally awesome, if not, better.

Well, I've chosen to trust myself on that.

Okay.
Off to take my flight back to Malaysia now.

Chloe said "Peace out!"

PS:
Thanks Sue-mae for inviting me over for a sushi dinner on New Year's eve.
It was cozy, very homey... Just the way I like it nowadays.
Much love.

PPS:
Time to go home. YAY!

Of course it means Everything

2011-12-28T14:30:00.009+11:00

"All at once, I had it all
But it doesn't mean anything now that you're gone
From above, seems I had it all
But it doesn't mean anything since you're gone"
- Doesn't Mean Anything by Alicia Keys -

That's Shan, Yee and I on our way back from having Vietnamese Pho, singing along cheerfully to "You Belong to Me" by Taylor Swift in their FoFo. It's a joke we came up with for their car and the nickname stuck.

Ah, such happy time.

Well... before Alicia Keys's "Doesn't Mean Anything" came on and killed it.

Seriously. Dislike emo songs.

Anyway, Yee is leaving for London for a new chapter of her life. Albeit it's not going to be a very long stay, I'm still very excited for her, knowing that she would enjoy it and get the most out of her experience.

I always believe that these growth spurts would change people, hopefully for the better.

For Yee's case.. definitely for the better.

Okay. Off to my Chiropractic session.

Time to crack some bones of mine.

Backdated: Post written on Christmas Day

2011-12-25T19:03:00.007+11:00

They used to say that if you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders. So, I set aside some time for my mind to wander today and ended up overwhelming myself with emotions.

Geeeee.

I'm having the whole day to myself because it's Christmas day, the day when every single shop is closed and we're allowed to ride free on all public transports, knowing that the people won't do much travelling anyway. Ah, Melbourne CBD is a dead town. Besides, the weather is absolutely berserk today! Summer bright sun one minute, thunder storms the next, followed by sunlight again, then as I was bbm-ing Shan to complain about the rising temperature making me sweat like a pig, it started hailing outside. Pffft.

I can't be bothered to leave my house anymore and I have given up on looking for places to go, things to do, so I just sat still in front of my laptop, going through old blog posts of Proudduck. hehe. It's my favourite blog.

Anyway, my heart tells me that I want to go home.

As a matter of fact, home is where the heart is. At present, home is where my parents are and it's in Malaysia.

I got offered a place in doing Honours in Melbourne University, which means I will be staying back in Melbourne for 2012. It's just something I want really badly because it's a challenge I set for myself before I sign myself up for the working world. Partly also, I would like to redeem myself with better grades. Seriously, my results was a disgrace back in first year and I didn't know what's going on most of the time. Then, it's not until second semester of second year that I started getting first class honours for my subjects, that's when I started to "learn" gradually, started to build my character bit by bit.

It's not very common to pursue one more year of honours, especially in areas such as Marketing/Management. But it's where I can see myself excel in, definitely not jobs involving accounting spreadsheets and financial numbers. I can devise strategies based on those finalised numbers, but please don't ask me to crack my head in order to come up with them. So, for next year, I think Honours is the right thing to do. After that, I will revaluate my paths that will lead me to my goal, to a place where I call home.

It has to be a place where I can provide and I want to give back to my parents, although they've emphasised from time to time that, they demand nothing from me. My parents are the most understanding and loving people as they'd given me full autonomy in deciding what do I want to do with my life. Nonetheless, as much as they said I'm not obligated to them in any way, I'm more than willing to be responsible for my duty as their only daughter. I insist.

People used to ask me, what do your parents want you to do after you graduate?

I said they would like me to stay back in Australia, as far away from Malaysia as possible, but sorry mum and dad, I'm gonna disobey you on this.

Because I love you both too much.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days from Christmas day...

Although the date of the post is 25th of December, I never managed to publish the post in time on the Christmas day. I ended up leaving my house in the evening to join Jacey with her bf for dinner. Then, I tagged along for drinks at a casual Christmas gathering with Zo, her twin sister and mum. Twas very nice.

The host even had a Christmas present for me!

It was such a pleasant surprise.

PS:

Because it's Christmas time, we tell the truth.

The truth is, I feel blessed.

PPS:

In sum, I had an awesome Christmas and great Boxing day sales experience, not in terms of how much bargains I managed to hoard or how many presents I received but the fact that I really enjoyed the company, of friends and families and of course, the time I spent with my Self.

Getting ready for 2012.

I'm not overreacting.

2011-12-24T14:38:00.004+11:00

Meme Proposal | Tim * Audrey from Crazy Monkey Studio on Vimeo.

I watched this video out of boredom and I ended up crying like a baby.

Seriously sobbing, gasping for air kind.

Jeeeez.

The video flooded the newsfeeds in Facebook for more than a week already and I dismissed it, thinking it's another lame proposal video from Malaysia.

But, after watching it out of keh-poh-ness just now, I'm absolutely amazed by the camera work, lighting, and the music used. Actually... especially the song choice! Good call on using Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years". So cheesy yet it fits so perfectly.

In a nutshell, I'm touched.

Honestly, the concept is not out-of-the-worldly new, I mean.. the flash cards (an idea stolen from chick-flicks such as Love Actually), memes (Everyone loves memes. No kidding), sneaky collaborations with friends for the element of surprise (more or less, it's a must for proposal), these are not something to shout about. Besides, I'm not a loyal reader of neither Tim's nor Audrey's blogs so I'm not "emotionally attached" to both of them through following their blogs, behaving as if I knew them in person. So, there's no valid reason for me to tear up like a little girl right?

But, it's the sincerity of the proposal that brought me to tears.

It's simple, thoughtful and most importantly, it gets the message through and it gets the job done. heh.

I think, it's perfect.

PS:

I have always loved weddings. I'm a very idealistic person, I know.

PPS:

I played the video for the Christina Perri's song on youtube and regretted it. Because I didn't realize it's from Twilight.

Urggghh.

Same thing happened to Bruno Mars's "It Will Rain".

WHY TWILIGHT WHY

It's my turn.

2011-12-15T21:12:00.003+11:00

It was such a happy day. We've made it perfect.

My dad's graduation was 36 years ago

2011-12-11T22:08:00.007+11:00

Mama and papa chow are in town for my graduation.

They requested for a Thai lunch and enjoyed the Korean dinner very much. It's time to show them some lovely cafe food and good coffee that I love so much in Melbourne. I also arranged an Italian dinner tomorrow, probably giving them a culture shock.

I'm guessing they will enjoy the Vietnamese Pho too, and definitely the Peking duck.

This is the beauty of the food scene in Melbourne, a lot of varieties, incredibly global.

I know it's not a pleasant thing to say but they just arrived today and I already felt suffocated. My rationale is that I'm used to being with myself, dealing with friends who are equally "localized", while my parents are intrigued by everything, constantly requiring explanations for why things are different than what they're used to in Malaysia. Even the most normal things to us, could have been foreign to them. Given the fact that so many things had happened since the last time they were here, there are a lot to fill them in with, to keep them up to date with the present. There's so much to share and so much to tell, so many things to clarify!

*Gasps*

Their first trip back in 2006. It's a little horrifying when you think about how time flies.

Anyway, I was supposed to stay the night with them at the hotel but decided to just come home to be in my own space. I think I needed to be away from them for one night, to deal with the reality that, they are here to get to know what kind of environment I live in, to meet my friends, to share my life. And, they are not here to judge me, to judge how I live my life. Never.

It helps to put things in perspective when I told my friend about this and she shared her similar experience when her parents were here. It made me realized that, it's not just me and I shouldn't be angry at myself for being agitated at my parents. What I need to do is to not try to change them or change how they should see things but try to change the way I interact with them. Most importantly, she reminded me that, metta to the parents, is the highest kind of karma.

Then, I sent a text to my dad to apologize for being short fuse but he told me that, there's no apology needed because they would never keep anything negative at heart, instead, he updated me that my mum was happily eating Korean fried chicken in bed as supper. And that text was sent at 12.30am -_- Suddenly, it occurred to me that, my parents are such understanding and loving people. I could have told them that I'm pregnant and they would still accept me for who I am, embrace me with open heart. I believe this is what Ajahn Brahm has been preaching about, the unconditional love.

As I'm typing this, tears are already streaming down my face.

Note to self:

There's no need for the constant pressure and self-induced stress of proving myself to them because in their hearts, I'm already good enough, in fact, I am the best daughter they could ever have.

PS:

I guess it also makes sense that, they would want to give me the best of everything, within their capability of course.

My dad is no Richard Branson and I would never expect him to be.

PPS:

I'm ready for graduation.

And to have failures thrown at me as I march fearlessly into next phase of life.

Graduation Ceremony Virgin

2011-12-03T19:47:00.007+11:00

They always say graduation ceremony is the most dreadful and boring thing ever but I have to disagree, because I absolutely enjoyed the one I attended yesterday. But, maybe I generally love ceremonies that give out awards; there's just so much optimism, hopes and sense of accomplishments in the air while I believe one can never get enough of these.

It's a moment of celebrations.

Sadly, many people see it as a stressful event, similar to wedding ceremonies, but smaller scale. They ended up being so caught up with having everything Right, and in the end, they'd forgotten about enjoying the moment. I can't say that I definitely won't get agitated or stressed but it's something I would like to work on when it comes to my own wedding. As of now, I would start practicing with my own graduation and see how well I can handle it.

Baby steps. heh.

Also, I have come to realize that, people say "Congratulations!" because it's the right thing to say in That context but personally, I actually felt the joy and excitement from basking in other people's achievements. I take pride in being able to be part of something bigger than what I could achieve.

So, it was a graduation ceremony for the Dentistry and Veterinary kids. I know I can never do what they did in their undergraduate years. I enjoyed their stories from dealing with their patients, the way they're assessed when it comes exams period (They have as many as Seven papers to sit while we Commerce students only have Four) and their courses require quite a lot of travelling or relocations, sometimes to the rural areas, which is also something Commerce students like myself do not have to do. We only have to attend tutorials and lectures on campus, and that's it. I wouldn't say that Commerce people have things easier, but these Dent and Vet students have to go through very different education process, which demands acquiring broader set of skills than merely learning and applying theories in essays/exams.

Honestly, I find the speeches to be the most interesting part of the ceremony. The professor could be recycling his speeches for all I care but one thing he said that touched me was, before graduation, these students were guided, sometimes one could only watch and they were still under strict supervision but beyond the completion, one is given the full permission to make responsible and ethical decisions in dealing with various different situations.

They are now certified Doctors, who intervene with life and death. Ah, so much responsibility. So awesome.

I got goosebumps when a few students were announced as the "Top Students" of the year or of the course, which I find to be very remarkable.

These people in red regalia were rewarded with Doctorate, with research done in respective areas.

I would love to be one of them in the future. I dream, and I like to dream large. Period.

Congratulations Dave and Mae!

More graduations to come in the coming weeks.

I'm definitely in a celebratory mood, which is not very healthy to the numbers in my bank account.

Oh well.

PS:

Getting my hair dyed for the first time in Melbourne. Too excited.

Looks like I'm accumulating "first-times" nowadays.

PPS:

Reading "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua and loving it.

There's Something About Toms

2011-11-28T18:09:00.004+11:00

I LOVE TOMS SHOES.

Maybe, a little obsessed with them even.

They are so ridiculously comfortable, very simple design yet trendy at the same time.

Slip and go, perfect for people like us who spend most of the time walking around Melbourne, to the city, to classes and to groceries shopping. Since walking is the most economical way of going places, we definitely need good shoes for that.

I was introduced to these shoes a year ago and bought two pairs in one-go the first time. We usually order them online so they are shipped from the U.S. And needless to say, I've been so in love with them ever since.

Sometimes I call them kung fu shoes because you can run jump fly-kick in them, anytime.

Besides, I find that they go so well with everything! With jeans, skirts, dresses, tapered pants, shorts... How versatile.

So far, I've bought 5 pairs, and counting. The two pairs of Toms from my first purchase are wearing out but I'm a little reluctant to throw them out still.

They also make wedges which are also extremely comfortable.

I especially love their "classics". The one in the picture above is the special Movember edition which is obviously my most current favourite.

Actually, the story doesn't end there.

I would say that it's a brand I admire because...

In 2006, TOMS distributed 10,000 pairs of shoes in Argentina.

In November 2007, the company distributed 50,000 pairs of shoes to children in South Africa.

As of April 2009, TOMS had distributed 140,000 pairs of shoes to children in Argentina, Ethiopia, South Africa as well as children in the United States.

The company announced in April 2010 that they had given over 600,000 pairs of new shoes to children in need around the world.

During September 2010, while in Argentina, TOMS gave away the 1,000,000th pair of shoes
(Source: Wikipedia)

It started as small-scale company founded by Blake Mycoskie in 2006. I've been doing quite a bit of reading on his success story, about his vision for the One for One Movement, held true to TOMS Shoes. I also really like the culture he's created for the company, consistant with its brand values, clearly reflected across every aspects of the business operations, from the packaging, official websites to their marketing campaigns. Very down-to-earth and "real", which are very important for start-ups to compete with the more established organisations in the market.

In fact, I was so annoyed when I found out that the mainstream brand, Sketchers is offering shoes with the EXACT same concept, that is to give one pair of shoes to child in need with every pair purchased, but they are called "BOBS".

Ha-Ha.

Very Original.

Pfffttt.

But then again, when you're original and successful, people will start to copy what you do. So it then boils down to how you can innovate from time to time, creating new grounds, pushing the boundaries... have faith in the fact that the opportunities are endless.

I sincerely hope TOMS won't disappoint.

PS:

I've managed to sway some of my friends to buy them as well.

These two huge boxes were our latest purchases just arrived last week.

Because combined shipping is the way to go. heh.

PPS:

I love random acts of kindness.

Living the Life of a Tourist

2011-11-25T01:54:00.006+11:00

It's only been 4 days since my last paper and I felt like I'd done so much, or simply, spent so much money already. I was telling Zo that, I absolutely have no idea what day is it anymore because I'm always going places at my own discretion, without much external obligations at all. There are only minimal chores to do and errands to run really. I get to choose entirely what do I want to do, who do I want to meet so I'm definitely savouring every single minute of this short time window of freedom.

Mostly are catch-up sessions with friends before everyone graduates and moves on to the next phase of their lives. Some are heading back to home country for good, some got offered jobs that require relocation, some enrolled themselves in postgraduate studies, some are planning to be an entrepreneur, starting a business of their own. It's always good to bask in the optimism, motivation and drive to be successful after university, before it gets depleted by the corporate culture. I strongly believe that there's no One right pathway to make it big in life and it's no competition, so I enjoyed the time spent sharing our dreams, talking about future prospects from different points of view. So aspiring.

It was Thursday that I went to have Vietname Pho (orgasmic Vietname noodles in soup) with my Marketing group members. It's been our "ritual" every now and then because we love the noodles so much, especially the boys.

Zach on the left was so smug because he ordered the LARGE noodles, while Elliott on the right had to force a smile for the camera because he was disappointed that the waiter didn't bother to ask him what size did he want. He ended up being served a regular, while his usual has always been the LARGE.

These noodles are additive! Who knows what they put in there besides handfuls of MSG, but they taste so good.

Saw this long neck turtle in the Pho shop and thought it looks so frigging cool! I think it must be for good feng shui or something, but I can tell, it seems to be working out pretty well.

It was so awesome that the weather that day was perfect too. Melbourne weather is so temperamental so when it's sunny, we have to take good advantage of it. Roam around the city... be out and about!

We ended up chilling in a cafe after pho, to share stories about growing up and peers. The hot chocolate here is just the toned-down version of Milo dinosaur, less ooomph so I definitely prefer the authentic Milo dinosaur back home more than anything. Ah, I miss mamak sessions.

Then, we headed back to the city and I decided to continue getting baked under the sun in the park, accompanied by my novel of choice, which is "My Sister's Keeper". I'm only half way through the book, finding myself becoming less able to focus on reading from actual paper instead of LED lit screen.

Sheeesh, I want a Kindle. lol.

I got distracted by couple getting married.

And there were protestors just camping out.

Before I knew it, it was dinner time, with the group of people who did the Global Consulting Project in Bangkok together.

I would say that it's one of the best learning experience I've had in my undergraduate degree. I have acquired skills that I would not be exposed to in lecture halls and tutorial rooms. It was only 2 weeks long but oh-so-intense. The best part was, you managed to cruise through it together with a group of people who had the same goals, similar mind set and attitude. It's the perfect mixture of fun and learning.

When we got together, we couldn't stop reminiscing the time we spent together and the dodgy things that we encountered when we were in Bangkok.

Seriously.

Bangkok is such a dodgy place, but in an interesting way. Their dodgy ways of doing things never failed to amaze too. So much for being termed as the land of smiles, yet we have come to know better that, there's always something hidden behind the smile.

Never trust easily.

We talked about the ping pong show a.k.a. vagina show where a few group members were confronted and threatened by gangsters, wanting them to pay an amount way more than what they agreed to. But they managed to negotiate their way out of it. And how we always almost got scamped by taxi drivers because we took taxis all the time. Interestingly, the guys ended up doing more shopping than the girls, from hoarding ridiculously cheap underwear (a guy bought 37 pairs. LOL) to getting as many as FOUR sets of suits tailored. Heh.

They are a bunch of fun-loving people, extremely open to try new things and are able to make the joke out of every challenges, or even obstacles. Such good times.

We got pretty close when we were there, given that we spent almost every waking hours together so we told each other what amazing bargains we'd bought/hoarded, what bizarre food we had for dinner or lunch and what ridiculous incidents we come across when dealing with local Thai people. Towards the end of the trip, our common phrase was, "Same same but different!", said in a mock Thai accent.

Every single aspect of the project was a new experience, they were all valuable lessons to be learnt. In fact, I've come to finally see clearly that, every part of life is a lesson and it rings true when they say, it's important that you find yourself learning something new everyday.

PS:

Jesslyn is here in Melbourne to visit!

Time to be a tourist guide, while I shall enjoy being the tourist simultaneously.

PPS:

One of my favourite quotes from "My Sister's Keeper":

"It is so easy to presume that while our own world has ground to an absolute halt, so has everyone else's. But the trash collector has taken our garbage and left the cans in the road, just like always. there is a bill from the oil trucked tucked into the front door. Neatly stacked on the counter is a week's worth of mail. Amazingly, like has gone on."

My Sentiments.

2011-11-23T18:51:00.007+11:00

I came across this blogpost, *click* and found it reflects my perspectives on branded goods, that is:

Don't invest on an expensive or, very expensive item, solely because of its brand status, but buy it because you really want it and it means more than what it's worth in terms of monetary value.

For example,

Don't buy a Birkin, just because it's Hermès.

Don't buy a classic flap bag, just because it's Chanel.

And the list goes on.

Well, let's not forget that the definition of "expensive" is relative too, so for me, these two brands are very expensive but for others, these are merely everyday brands. My point is, it's important to buy it for the right reason and one's best intention.

I remember I got asked by a friend before that, which model of Chanel bag should his mum buy while she doesn't like the iconic leather and chain strap. My answer to him was, if she didn't like it, don't buy it. Choose the bags, but not the brands.

I know brands have come to symbolize many things but if they don't mean anything to you, so it simply means they are not meant for you, maybe not yet.

Truth is, there is definitely peer pressure when it comes to splurging on designer goods but it really comes down to how well an individual can handle it. I can't say that I've perfected the art of resisting temptations but let's not go there for the time being.

Back to the blogpost, it's a story of how the fashion blogger acquired a Hermès Kelly.

Source: http://www.garancedore.fr

I like that she didn't mind the bag was pre-owned and that her longing for the bag actually developed over an extended period of time before she committed to it. I know some people are repelled against the idea of buying secondhand items, especially when it comes to such highly regarded bags. Most people would choose to go for putting their names down on the waiting list and willing to wait for 2 years before they could get their hands on it so they can get the bag brand new, claiming ownership. I think that's fine too. But, for this particular Kelly, it is because the bag was pre-loved by its original owner that, the bag has developed a "character", it has acquired a story - the bag has a history, which makes it so unique, simply one-of-a-kind. And the fact that the name for the color of the bag is actually the same as her real name, it just seems like a beautiful coincidence. Besides, my heart skipped a beat when I read about the part where her partner was disappointed because she had bought it for herself, while he had the intention of getting it for her for Christmas. As cliche as it sounds, I think the thought itself was more than enough already.

Sometimes, it's not about being able to fork out RM30k to spend on a bag, but more importantly, it's about doing it because it has come to mean more than the superficial face value. Which is why, I have decided to wait, for my Kelly because I know it's not the right time yet. I admire the beauty of it but it doesn't feel right owning it at this stage in life. Although, my dad has given me the green light and I have sources that could help with cutting the queue, as far as I'm concerned, I would rather derive pleasure from visualising it. heh.

Who knows, the time might not even come for all I care but I'm willing to wait.

Owing a Kelly still remains on my dreams list. In fact, the longer it stays on there, the more its value will appreciate.

Both monetary and sentimentally.

Just like a piece of acclaimed art.

PS:

Went to the VIP sale at Chadstone Shopping Centre today, I would like to say that...

this is probably the most shopping I've ever done in one-go since I first came to Melbourne donkey years ago and I'm absolutely loving it.

Only allowed myself to buy pieces in bright colors though.

PPS:

So liberated.

How long is this mania gonna last?

2011-11-21T19:15:00.006+11:00

OHMAIGAWD.

I JUST FINISHED WITH MY VERY LAST EXAM OF MY UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE!

Milestone much?

Thought so. heh.

Anyway, I was so relieved when the time was up.

I seriously wrote until I couldn't write anymore, until I was only holding the pen between the index and middle fingers because the rest gave up as I get to the last essays questions. Damnit.

So!

No more exams.

For the time being, not until I get notified of my admission into further studies at least.

Check out my study station, made notes for the very last time, Maybe:

Am I the only one who loves post-its as much?

They are awesome.

Since I'm done with my academic work... what now, brown cow?

I thought I would be able to crap out a heavy piece of reflection post on my education, but it seems like I can't really think constructively.

I guess reflection post has gotta wait.

Let me just chill.. LIKE A BOSS.

Living in the Present

2011-11-18T02:32:00.022+11:00

But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,

But often, in the din of strife,

There rises an unspeakable desire

After the knowledge of our buried life.

We had dinner at Gami and had too much food, but it was incredibly satisfying of course. After sapu-ing almost everything off the plate, we were too full to talk, yet I could hear everyone else's slowed breathing... deep breath in, slow breath out... total bliss. I could tell that we were starting to zone out, with our gaze fixed on those last pieces of fried chicken, contemplating if there's still space in the stomach... I remember high school science taught us that our stomach is extremely expandable, like a Balloon! Then again, I shouldn't rely on facts archived in my memory of the period when I slept through most of my classes.

Instead, I was concentrating real hard by staying still so that all my blood flow to my stomach to increase the rate of digestion. I have convinced myself that I have control over my bodily functions using my own mind.

Seriously.

I know I make up theories like that based on information I stumbled upon from time to time.

But, realistically speaking, what can you do when you're stuffed? or most importantly, when you're over-stuffed?

We've agreed that, waiting is the only way to go so Wait, we shalt.

We ended up dropping by Madame Brussels for drinks, which is one of my favourite bars in Melbourne, because I think it's "Friendly". Prim and proper crowd, decent music, soft enough for us to maintain conversation, open rooftop space and good fruity cocktails... Love it. The girls settled on wine because we are pretentious like that.

No actually, these ladies know their alcohol, considering Zo did a subject on wine tasting, and her "usual" is scotch on the rocks while Sal is staying off beer but living on "Wine only" policy, so I know I'm in good hands when it comes to picking what to drink.

It was good fun.

It's such a breeze spending time with people who are not judgemental. It makes you feel comfortable. Knowing that you can be yourself, be able to say the first thing that comes into your mind, be able to share your stories because nothing is going to change what they think of you.

It's been four years since we first involved in the Malaysian society together. We were the publicity team. There were 5 of us and we have remained good friends after the official team was disjointed.

It amazes me how our teamwork developed into long-term friendships after that. Our "meetings" were always fun and we got things done without feeling coerced or obliged. We enjoy each other's company. I know it's unusual when it comes to work work but it's not uncommon from my experience.

Maybe it's effort, or just plain chemistry.

Or,

it could be the other kind of chemistry.

I'm thinking, C2-H5-OH, a.k.a. "alcohol".

Shussh, stop judging.

PS:

Sal asked, "Ming, are you still on a diet?"

I answered, "Judging from the rate I'm going with the chicken, does it look like I'm on a diet?"

Sal, "Hell no. What was your diet before that?"

I replied, "Urmmm.. just Not Eat?"

I take pride in that I stopped depriving myself of food.

Best.decision.ever.

PPS:

That being said, I'm Yoga deprived. I could use some deep meditation. Weee.

Loved

2011-11-14T22:43:00.004+11:00

Maybe it's Monday.
Of all the days in a week, I actually love Monday the most, more than Friday or even the weekends.

It's the start of a new week, a new beginning. Good to feel motivated and pumped. I usually allocate some time on Monday to reflect on the things that happened in the previous week, be grateful for the ups and learn from the downs. Acknowledge the decisions that I have made. Engulf in the pride of accomplishments, doesn't matter how trivial they might have been, but give yourself a pat on the shoulder anyway, because you've made it through another week.

I'm getting ready for the last paper of my undergraduate education. Let's hope that everything goes well.

PS:

One Prince of Wales hailed Cartier as "Joaillier des Rois, Roi des Joailliers" - Jeweller to Kings, King of Jewellers.

Switching from the blue boxes to the red ones. I'm a convert.

PPS:

I'm going to attend a paint party next week.

I guess it's fun to get messy once in a while.

The beating heart of the American dream

2011-11-13T13:49:00.019+11:00

I know I didn't get around to write about my 3 weeks spent in America, which happened more than a year ago. It's extremely backdated but I think the insights that I've gained is timeless so I've decided to revisit my experiences anyway.

A little self-indulgent but, I find it helps with the thinking process a lot better when you put your thoughts down in words.

I can't stress enough on how opportunities like these in life are hard to come by and I'm glad that my parents were really supportive of it, only in terms of financials, because they were worried sick bout my ability of taking care of myself in such foreign land. That's just parents being parents... Can't blame them. While in comparison, there were many people in the trip who had to work extra shifts for a year to save up for it. It sure takes determination and it's rather admirable. The truth is, I find that it's an invaluable experience, not solely because of the amount of things I managed to hoard from there (Okay, I'm still proud of my bargains), the places that I'd visited or the fact that I got to spend 1 week each in New York, Boston and Washington on daddy's funds. The last statement itself is probably sufficient to send many people green with envy. But honestly, these things are only the smallest part of the big picture. Besides, there are so many people out there who're doing great things, who am I to think that I've had it better than anybody.

Yes, I went to New York and we practically spent almost everyday in shops going through racks of clothes or roaming around shoppings districts after we were done with our daily academic related visits.

Went berserk in Forever 21 and ZARA. Fell in love with Urban Outfitters. Don't get me started on Sephora. And got pissed at how cheap Juicy Couture and Coach are.

Went almost broke in Woodbury Common Premium Outlets as we took the first bus there and last bus home. Can't go wrong with some deep-rooted Asians spirit.

Visited many incredible landmarks including the Central Park, the Empire State Building, Wall Street, the Grand Central Station, etc.

Oh, Statue of Liberty. What a majestic lady of grandeur.

Watched Wicked on Broadway. AMAZING. Seriously. A-MEH-ZHNG. It practically ignited my passion for musicals.

Okay, I exaggerate. I think it sparked my appreciation for the culture.

Best part was, our friend won the tickets 1 hour before the show! And the tickets only costed us less than a fraction of the original price and it was the first-frigging-front roll!

Even got the original casts to sign our PLAYBILL.

Such an incredible experience which deserves it's bragging rights. heh.

If you think about it, it would have required so many things in between to Not go wrong in order to make everything worked so perfectly at the end of the day.

So grateful.

Despite all the glitz and glamour, we also went to the Great Boston Food Bank to learn about the issue of poverty prevalent in the States. Actually, I find that the societal class distinction to be obvious and I had been pointing that out in my daily journal everyday, which never failed to fill me with remorse. A visit to Harlem was all it needs to see the difference in New York itself. Besides, we were encouraged to interview or talk to the working/middle-class people to get the "Real" story on what's really going on, is everyone holding just fine? But, of course, everyone had different things to say so we had to take in with an open mind.

So we got to see the rich and wealthy chomping down succulent pieces of lobster meat in posh restaurants and indulging in consumerism, but we also volunteered to pick up cans of meat from boxes of food thrown out by the supermarkets at the the Food Bank so they can be distributed to families barely surviving on their shoe-string budget. The latter breaks my heart and the former makes me question my own dream, on what I really want in life?

Things like these give you perspectives which I believe is accumulative through time, letting you know how big the world is. That, one needs to be humble, in order to continue to learn. There's no end in learning, and it sure doesn't stop at your graduation. Just saying.

At this stage in life, I'm learning to find a balance amidst so many things that are happening around me. It's just crucial to find a ground where I don't drown my own voice with everything that's going on concurrently while at the same time, able to learn from the whirlwind process. I just had quite an intense (only relative to my own standards) week so I'm taking the weekends off to put everything back in place before I dive into the next challenges ahead, knowing that I have what I need to handle them sufficiently. Even if I don't... improvise.

Stay still and keep calm.

Well, apparently an impromptu trip to the beach, armed with bottles of cold beer and no expectations whatsoever helped too.

PS:

Love these chairs found on Harvard campus ground. Why can't we have something like this too??

So that we don't have to sit on the grass all the time! Sitting on grass only looks leisurey and oh-so-chillax on pictures but in reality, it's so uncomfortable and bad for the spine.

Sheesh.

PPS:

I love statistis when it tells you:
35% - Decrease in risk of dying during a 5-year study among people who reported being happy, content and excited on a typical day, compared with those who were sadder or more anxious.

Because sometimes, I think concrete facts work better than having Bobby McFerrin singing to you, "Don't worry, be happy".

Fun fact, we learnt in Psychology that, just by forcing a "fake" smile that activates your facial muscle is enough to elevate your mood. How handy.

The Age of List-making

2011-11-06T11:20:00.010+11:00

SPIEGEL: Why do we waste so much time trying to complete things that can't be realistically completed?

Eco: We have a limit, a very discouraging, humiliating limit: death. That's why we like all the things that we assume have no limits and, therefore, no end. It's a way of escaping thoughts about death. We like lists because we don't want to die.

Cultural theorists and scholars are so morbid. Jeez.

I love my lists. Period.

List-making keeps us organised in our lives, keeps us in check with our progress. It's awesome.

Just look at the hundreds of apps and programs out there, developed to help us with list-making, there must be a demand that gave rise to such supply! Not only that, think about your contact lists on your cellphones, your friends list in Facebook, your lists of folders/documents on your computers, and don't get me started on Personal Assistants (because these people make a living from helping you to make and keep lists and remind you about them from time to time) ... the list of lists is endless.

Okay, maybe those cultural theorists are right.

Just recently, I downloaded this app called, "iProcrastinate" (I think the name is ingenious), then I updated deadlines and included all the items needed to be done... yada yada... But the closest due date is tomorrow and all the items remain un-ticked.

What bullshit.

Well, I guess I find list-making to be therapeutic, not so much the items-ticking on a list.

Anyway, I'm compiling a list of things to do after exams, leading to ... say ... 31st of December.

Yes, I'm all about planning ahead. Yet, I don't mind some mix of spontaneity from time to time.

No. 1 thing that tops my list right now is..

Read a tear-jerking, heart-warming, aww-inducing novel.

I will start with this book sitting on my shelf. I've watched the movie but hopefully the book will be more touching than the adaptation.

To be honest, I can't remember the last time I'd read a novel and I would like to do that after all the academic reading is over.

Much love.

PS:

Looking at too many wedding photography blogs makes me want to be part of one.

Weddings, not photography blogs.

I shall wait.

PPS:

Don't worry. My essay is brewing and will be done, printed by tonight.

Tomorrow is a start of a better week.

They say thank God it's Friday but I always feel extra pumped and motivated on Mondays instead.

"I'm falling down, like it's holy ground"

2011-11-04T11:30:00.015+11:00

"The cinematic love story is frequently concerned with loss and unsatisfied love.
Discuss this statement in relation to two films on the course. In your response you should consider Lacan’s ideas about ‘sexual relations’ and Freud and Kristeva’s theories of melancholia."

That topic is what I've been working on for the past weeks.

It occurred to me that, if you look at every love story out there, it's essentially about the essence of loss, searching for that special something that is missing from a person's life - Without love, one can't live. So, when you sit back and try to connect the dots, you would find that, Love is a loss.

And we spend our whole life chasing after it because that's how love stories are constructed and told in the cinema. It is what we come to know about love.

Fictional characters are always depicted looking for The One, but when they've found their "happy" ending, the movie comes to an end as well "... and they lived happily every after".

Everyone goes home with a grin plastered on their faces and said,

WHAT A GOOD STORY!

In the end, it's always the positive and glossed up bits that people take home with them.

(I'm talking about the love story genre by the way, things can be different when it comes to horror genre etc.)

Even stories about dogs. Sheesh.

But this becomes a problem when audiences are conditioned over the years, to think that, I can find my happy ending in real life too!

Truth is, life is no fairytale.

Honey, it's time to wake up and come back to reality.

You see couples still stay in marriage after many years, you would say they are happily together and not talk about their happy ending.

Because.. NOT YET.

People might file for divorce after 72 hours *cough* Kim Kardashian *cough*.

A story is a story for a reason. It sounds morbid, but the day your life becomes a story is the day you die. Period.

It is when, your grand kids get to know about the happy ending of the unrequited love of their grandparents, the love that you and your the-other-half found when you were alive.

It's called a happy "ending" for a reason.

To put it simply, if you're chasing after your happy ending, you're chasing after death.

Wadafark.

God forbid that people worship singer-songwriters like Avril Lavigne who produce top hits named "My Happy Ending".

In more academically speaking,

Freud once wrote: "The finding of an object is in fact a refinding of it", saying that all love is regressive, backward-looking, so doomed to disappointment.

Which I find it to be so true.

I'm not trying to spoil it for the rest of you as a vengeance because writing the essay has already spoilt it for me, and I've stripped off Freud's complex theories about ego and libido to make everything sounds like a "DUH, it's common sense", but seriously..

Don't buy into those bullcraps the cinema or television or popular culture trying to sell you.

It sounds too straightforward but there's still the danger in that, many things are internalized unconsciously.

PS:

Actually, what I'm more worried about is, the things that my kids are going to be exposed to in the future.

Argh.

PPS:

I Love Pho.

Why isn't having vietnamese food a trend in Malaysia?

When I try to Shrink Myself

2011-11-03T14:06:00.005+11:00

It's the 4th day of Swot Vac, for some reasons I'm not as stressed as I used to be.

For real.

The optimistic self thinks that it's because I have figured out how things should be done after so many years (This is my 10th Swot Vac for goodness' sake) while my other agitated self is being condescending that I'm not working hard enough, attempting to induce fear and anxiety from time to time.

But, I've decided to not listen to either and do what my heart desires.

OHSOCLICHE.

Sheesh.

Random note, I just discovered one of the best feelings in the world and I want to share it. I know I tend to exaggerate at times but that's how I felt anyway so bear with me.

It is when you've found out that your friends are aware of your flaws all along yet they stay by you anyway. They would tell you that, they knew and essentially, it makes you go,

Jeez, these people know me better than I know myself.

It's awesome.

Friends are not like families in the sense that they don't owe you anything in life, they are not bounded to you because of blood relations so they have the freedom to leave anytime, they have the right to reject you in many instances. But when they have decided to make the effort to stay in your life, you know they are more than friends, and sometimes, I would like to think, they are more than a family.

Two more weeks to go before I can live as a free man, and do things I've been wanting to do but didn't have the guts to.

Okay. Back to work.

Stay strong and stay wise.

PS:

I'm loading on a lot of carbs nowadays.

But then again..

Eat first, and think later. heh.

PPS:

Judging from the rate I'm going, my blog might be turning into motivational pages filled with cheesy cliches.

I shall not let that happen and will post more happy pictures about my life after I'm done.

OHSOTRUE

2011-11-01T20:22:00.003+11:00

It's essays writing time for me.

PS:

Many people posted this on Facebook and said it makes them wanna go travel too.

It reminded me of a convo I had with my friend:

I ask him, "So what do you want to do after this?

He replied, "I want to quit my job and go travel"...

then he added,

"Who doesn't."

Exactly.

Everyone says it but never has the courage to do it.

PPS:

I find Steve Jobs' humble attitude towards life is most admirable.

Yes. I read his sister's eurology.

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life"

2011-10-30T14:22:00.009+11:00

"People think a soul mate is our perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life..." - Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat.Pray.Love

I haven't talked openly about my love life before because I always defensively dismiss that I've never been in love. Over the past few months, I came to realize, I was simply punishing myself thinking that I don't deserve any. And I've been extremely successful in convincing myself: I'm not worthy of love. As a result, I single-handedly destroyed multiple friendships and relationships along the way.

I've met good people and good men but I pushed them away, or in many instances, I don't have the patience and confidence to listen to my instincts that I should treasure them. As the saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait", but I never did, I chose to move on with my own life. But I know I'm blessed in the sense that, there are a lot who are willing to stay on, and patiently dispensing me lessons about love, on how to receive and how to reciprocate.

Polaroids are love.

The very first step to better life, is to love one self. Be compassionate and kind to yourself. Ajahm Brahm always preach that, we should make peace with ourselves and I shall do it more often, learning to love myself more because I'm special too, just like everyone else in this world.

As Elizabeth continues, a true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

I'm accepting the fact that I've pushed people away but they taught me things I never knew, things that would live with me for the rest of my life, so hopefully things are going to be different from now on.

I've fucked up, but that's okay because who doesn't.

Much love.

PS:

Another quote taken from Elizabeth's wiki quote page:
"I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."

I guess there's a reason why I find the book, "Eat.Pray.Love" speaks more to me than some of my friends who have read it. That quote is exactly how I see myself when it comes to love.

To be honest, I'm aspired to go soul searching after graduation but we'll see how things turn out in the coming months.

PS:

Hello Swot vac, we meet again.

I'm ready show some love to our study break. How awesome can that get.

Damn sarcasm.

Spontaneity is Gold

2011-10-26T18:02:00.005+11:00

We spontaneously agreed to meet up for lunch on campus and took a polaroid while we're at it, just because...

WE CAN!

Sigh.

I will miss being a student.

Sometimes when I think about it, graduation is worth celebrating not because one has completed a course per se but it's about appreciating the valuables that you've gained along the way... the life lessons that you have learnt and the friendships that you've established in the process that prep you up for a real journey after that.

As I always tell myself, it's just the beginning and not the end.

Truth is, I get told too many times that, you will never apply the things you learnt in university when you get to the real world.

Yet, I'm tempted to ask, "Did you learn anything at all when you're in uni?".

To be fair, I might be naive and skeptical to think that they are wrong.

Well, we will see.

I know I can be idealistic at times.

PS:

This shall be my last post on graduation before my actual ceremony.

Learning to prioritise here.

PPS:

I did a subject this semester called, "Entrepreneur Marketing".

I'm glad that my very own idea, held true to my heart was taken up by the entire group and we are actually having so much fun with the project.
One of the group members is determined to develop it into a real business when the time is right.

It's awesome.

Where's the element of surprise?

2011-10-24T20:59:00.007+11:00

In our family, we are not very vocal about our love for each other because my dad thinks it's self-explanatory. Seriously, there are only three of us, so there's no competition for attention or love at all. In comparison to a family of five, my parents don't have to show their love in open to prove that which child in the family deserves it more than the other, because there's only me. It's normal for every other child to suck up to their parents but it's just something I never have to learn to do.

Now that I think about it, we seldom do hugs or kisses and there's not a lot of public display of affection really. There's just an unspoken understanding that we care for each other, very much.

I won't say that it's the best parenting practice but that's just the way things work in our family and I'm not complaining.

I would say that my parents are not very romantic, to be honest, yet they have their distinct way of showing love. That is, they try to provide me with what I desire. From an outsider's perspective, I'm a spoilt.

My dad always say to me, "Girl, just tell me what you want directly. There's no need for hinting or pleading."

Knowing that my parents will go the extra length to provide me with what I ask for or to get the second closest thing to my request, I have learnt not to take advantage of it. It's a form of trust. Even if my requests were turned down sometimes, it's always for a valid reason. It doesn't matter if other people disapprove the constant "spoiling", that's just how I was brought up and I would like to think that I turn out rather decent so my parents must have done something right. Heh.

Just last week, my dad sent me a picture of a gift he bought for my graduation.

(BTW, I really like the fact that my dad just got introduced to the awesomeness of BBM so I get occasional pictures of his stays in hotel suites and updates on the extravagant meals he's having. As I would always reply, "Enjoy yourself because you deserve every single bit".)

It's the trinity ring that comes in the infamous red box.

How pretty is it.

I'm touched that they have chosen to buy it for me to celebrate a milestone in my life, not disregarding the fact that they have already spent a fortune paying for the education itself.

Actually, Cartier has come to represent something more than just a luxury brand in my family and it goes way way way back to the time before I was born so the red box is rather symbolic to us. Besides, I'm not blaming my dad for spoiling the surprise by sending me the picture but apparently Cartier does free engraving so I have warned them NOT to tell me what the engraving's going to be.

In my opinion, it's the personal touch that makes the gift more special than it already is.

I know I'm blessed.

PS:

As it turns out, my dad just informed me that, the ring is going to be a gift from mum only (paid by a certain amount deducted from her monthly allowances -__- Okay. He's joking) so I will be expecting two red boxes when they fly over in December.

PPS:

Never settle for anything less than what you truly want. Never.

Life

2011-10-20T22:22:00.003+11:00

I have the tendency to over complicate things.

I think I have come across a quote before that goes something like, "People do a lot of thinking ... and sometimes, that's what kills us"

That's exactly how I see myself at times.

Whenever I'm given an option or a choice, I think about the future prospects, I think about it's origins, I think about the alternatives, the pros, the cons, the people involved, yada yada... before I knew it, I might have already missed the opportunity of taking up the offer.

Dayem, I've missed my chance. I've missed the window of using my golden ticket.

Truth is, we can't know everything to make a decision. The more you know, the more you are distant from the reality in front of you.

And in a lot of situations, you have to listen to your instincts, because I believe that our instincts knows best. If you know you should go for it, just believe in what you have chosen, then at the end of the day, more often than not, you would probably hear yourself saying, "that's the best decision I've ever made".

Mainly because you trusted it, you believed in it and you grew to be passionate about it.

In the end, those are the things that really matter anyway. And those are few of the most important ingredients to achieve success: trust, confidence and passion.

Me being me, I never trusted my instincts, which is why I'm always so anxious about my decisions, fearing that I've made the wrong choice, said the wrong thing, bought the wrong gift, used the wrong structure for my essay and the list goes on. Even if I did make the right call, my anxiety and doubt would convince me otherwise anyway.

Meh, I know it sucks.

But, it's all part of the learning process.
I've learned it the hard way and sometimes, I think that's the only way to learn. I've been protected for way too long and those painful experiences are exactly what I needed to grow stronger and wiser, before it's too late.

PS:

Warm and sunny weather is finally here, I'm going to wear a sun dress tomorrow just because it floats my boat.

PPS:

One more week closer to the end.

"Deal with it"

2011-10-16T13:19:00.006+11:00

I love melodrama television series.

And it's even better that I get to study and write essays about it.

I watched the latest episode from Season 5 and it reminds me of why I love it so much to begin with.

The way the storyline and characters develop over the 5 seasons.

It's just awesome.

It's very much about relationships between people... mother and child/husband and wife/friends/co-workers.. about being a family... about life and death.

Good stuffs.

Quotes by a lady who's willing to risk everything for an experimental procedure of uterus transplant to have a baby:

"When I was younger, my mum worried all the time... Call me when you get there, who are you going with, what time would you be home... I just thought she was insane. But every time she will say to me, when you're a mother you'll understand"

Addison, the operating surgeon was trying to talk her out of it by saying that the procedure is not guaranteed but she convinced Addison anyway,

"There's no guarantee in life. When something is worth having, you've gotta give it a try right?"

In the end, she still didn't get a uterus to have a baby due to complications but the surgeon gave another speech...

"Your mum would tell you that, it's not about giving birth to you that defines her. It was the first time you look in her eyes and smile... it was the first time you fell asleep on her shoulder... You will have your baby, however she comes into the world. You will love her incredibly well, because your mum taught you how".

Ah, script writers and producers are so brilliant.

They give you hope, they conjure complications which stir up emotions, then they reassure you that life goes on anyhow.

I know things can often get a little idealistic in tv series because in reality, they are much more complicated.

But that's what we're looking for as an audience isn't it?

The glimmer of hope that everything is going to be okay.

And all you need to do is just try.

Even if all failed, at least you have fought.

PS:

Last 2 weeks of classes.

Having a bitter sweet feeling inside.

PPS:

Note to self: Learn to love.

I just realised that I don't know how.

Deep down, I secretly hope that it's not too late.

"Hakuna Matata" - I might have overused it.

2011-10-12T11:54:00.006+11:00

Things I expect/assume/ask/demand from life:
To work. What? Where? How? When? Why?
To study. What? Where? How? When? Why?
The future. What? Where? How? When? Why?

Too many question. Too many answers. Too many sides of the arguments.

Instead, should I just let it (my life) be?

I always get asked, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?"
And, my auto-pilot response is a mild panic attack because I'm over-analytical in nature and I tend to overwhelm myself with information.

Told you, I'm a masochist.

I often see the 'big' picture and the nitty gritty details that goes with it. When I see where I want to be, I also see every cross-roads, every consequences of decisions along the journey of getting there.

I blame my psychology and arts majors so spoiling it for me.

But the problem is, I don't know when to stop most of the times, while things can be way simpler than I thought they are. And, when I start to complicate things, I choose flight, instead of fight.

Sigh.

Seriously, as I was going through my plans and to-do-list for the coming 4 weeks, I was already starting to feel suffocated.

So please don't get me started on my plans for the coming Ten years.

For the time being, at least I have noted the first thing on my agenda to be:

To prioritise.

Breathe. Keep calm. Baby steps.

PS:

It's the time of the year again, the period when meals and sleep become secondary, while beauty regime is already out of the picture.

PPS:

Let the books hoarding begins!

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

2011-10-09T11:09:00.005+11:00

Why do people bother making promises while they don't intend to keep them anyway?

Seriously.

What a whole lot of bullshit.

The truth is, I do not tolerate non-sense and acts of irresponsibility.

I would like to believe that I'm a nice person in general, and I treat most people with goodwill until they've given me reasons not to. But, making broken promises is something I deemed inexcusable and unforgivable in my books.

In another words, it is the deal breaker for me.

My dad always ALWAYS lecture me on the importance of keeping promises, especially in the workforce, in personal relationships or in life in general. It also applies to promises you make to yourself.

The rule is, if you think you can't meet them, don't make them.

It's all part and parcel of establishing trust, the unspoken bond that you have with people around you and to yourself, in terms of self-trust/self-confidence.

I was raised to be a person who values trust and my dad has been the role model for as long as I can remember.

A simple example from childhood memories ... he used to throw a fit whenever I'm not on time. So, when we have agreed on leaving the house at 11am and we WILL leave the house at 11am, or else he would give us the silent treatment throughout the journey and ruin the day for everyone.

I used to hate him to core for doing it to us, but over the years, I have realised that, he's just trying to get his message across.

Yes. He is a man of his words, which is also a quality I look for when it comes to making life-long friends and filtering out undesirable mates.

He always tell me that people who make it in life, are the ones who hold on til the end of the deal, which they have put their words on. Because it proves determination and also shows that they can be relied on to get the job done no matter what. It's a long term thing too.

These are the people whom I have respect for and aspired to be.

There's a saying that, "trust takes years to build, seconds to break, forever to repair".

For those who have wronged me by breaking promises, usually I still opt to dismiss it politely instead of being fussed by it, because I see it as my cue that, these people no longer deserve my attention.

They shall be grouped under my "Can't-be-fucked" pile.

I hate shitty group members.

Period.

PS:

3 more weeks. CHOP CHOP!

"Let Me Let You Go"

2011-10-06T14:24:00.010+11:00

Today is not a good day.

To start off, I sprained my left ankle as I was running after a tram whilst almost being hit by a downhill cyclist. I had to sit by the road for a good 5 minutes before the pain eased and I could walk again. After googling remedies for sprained ankle, I now have a bag of frozen marinara on my ankle, hopefully that will help with the recovery.

So, I guess no gym or yoga for a week. Sigh.

Then, I was acknowledged by an avid Apple cult member about Steve Jobs's passing.

This piece of information is not new because there were ridiculous rumours about his death before anyway, but coming from my friend, I was convinced that, this time ... it's legit. I can't say that I'm a big fan of Apple products but I respect Steve Jobs for the things he had done. He will be remembered for the decades to come, and continue to be referred as one of the most revolutionary and legendary thinkers of all time.

Well, not Sigmund Freud standard but I'm thinking along the lines of Henry Ford.

Coincidently, I have been reading some books of his recently, books borrowed from a friend who also worships Jobs for his brilliance (Actually, who doesn't). I find it adorable that the books are full of highlighted sections that inspire and I couldn't help but taking onboard some of the insightful values from time to time because they never fail to get you thinking about things differently.

Not to mention my recent switchover from Windows to Mac, which makes me appreciate Apple more than I used to give them credit for.

That being said, I'm still not convinced about iPhones and iPads. Pfft.

I know I'm a laggard in taking the leap into the future. What a lame way to put it. wtf.

But seriously, the Mac OS makes Windows OS so obsolete, in my opinion.

I find that everything is more streamlined on the Mac, at least it feels that way, which essentially is battle half won when it comes to product differentiation.

My 15" baby. So gorgeous.

Only God knows why I was willing to pay the premium for the HD anti-glare screen upgrade.

Jeez. I'm so superficial.

Sigh.

So, what if life sucks in many ways ... what if things you have planned never go accordingly... what if tragedies happened and caught you by surprise ...

Ah, the abundance of what-ifs in life, which is often understood as "uncertainty".

I'm still learning to accept things that happen along the way and trying very hard not to have unrealistic expectations, which could result in disappointments when they are not met.

But when shits happen, we move on, like we always do - all in the spirit of letting go.

This is where I feel like I need to include the words of wisdom by Ajahm Brahm,

"The only thing I'm certain about life is uncertainty".

I think it's brilliant and sums up everything nicely.

PS:

Exams time table is out! So does my graduation date!

I will officially be a graduate of Melbourne University after the 13th of December.

PPS:

Watched "Crazy. Stupid. Love" - Absolutely loved it.

Ryan Gosling is hot, both clothed and not clothed.

I think it's a good story, a light-hearted chick-flick that's complex enough to not make me feel like I've wasted 2 hours of my life.

"What if the Secret to Success Is Failure?"

2011-09-25T17:45:00.007+10:00

I've come across this article online and this exert particularly interested me:

"... there was this idea in America that if you worked hard and you showed real grit, that you could be successful,” he said. “Strangely, we’ve now forgotten that. People who have an easy time of things, who get 800s on their SAT’s, I worry that those people get feedback that everything they’re doing is great. And I think as a result, we are actually setting them up for long-term failure. When that person suddenly has to face up to a difficult moment, then I think they’re screwed, to be honest. I don’t think they’ve grown the capacities to be able to handle that.”

THAT, is exactly what I have been thinking about, when it comes to my views on the education system.
I know, I've not been the biggest fan of our Malaysian education, but then again, I'm not in a position to complain about it because I'm one of the dupes churned out by the system myself. Additionally, I don't see myself taking any action in helping out with constructive interventions anytime soon...

Well, not until I have my own kids at least, when I'm aspired to cultivate a suitable home environment for better learning process in addition to the formal education in school.

Sigh.

Anyway, I see the issue being, all the students are moulded to believe that grades are everything. So those who can attain highest marks in exams, are the ones who get rewarded in the end. However, what's disregarded instead is the process of getting those marks, which essentially is the most important of all, in my opinion.

Coming from my own experience, I know it's extremely common for people to plead, bribe, cheat, lie, abuse "connections", and all sorts of dirty tactics to achieve the best marks they can get. These behaviours have been repeated over and over again until it's become the norm to "success".

Back in primary school, even kids as young as 8 learn that if you get on the teacher's good books (i.e. help with carrying books to her car after school hours or appoint themselves as the spy kids who report "illegal" operation to the teacher), you'll be the ones get praised. As a reward, they get inside information about what topic of essay is coming out in the final exams or they will get extra 5% added to their total marks due to their "good" behaviour. Not only that, they are taught that all these should be maintained as a secret or "underground" to avoid competition so that other people do not get such "privilege".

HOW RIDICULOUS.

When we get to high school, our ways of getting brownie points advance to more elaborate level. We start to do things in cliques. We pakat in exams, we coordinate cheating strategies that involve a group of more than five so that we can get the best scores in exams.

These are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to deceitful behaviours that span across my 9 years of education. We learn that, our goal is to get good marks, doesn't matter how you get them. And if you have failed to get good marks, you're doomed for life. Again, even if you'd failed, HIDE IT or DO SOMETHING about it. One would usually go up to the cikgu office and beg, cry if we have to, so that we can get the extra 3% out of pity and finally the score can be re-written using black pen instead of red in the report card.

What kind of values are we promoting here?

Sigh.

That's my rant for the day.

PS:

Holidays coming to an end.

PPS:

Brighter note, went Vue de Monde for lunch today!
One of the two 3-chefs-hatted restaurants in Melbourne, I've gotta say... I'm utterly impressed.

It's foolproof.

2011-09-22T21:45:00.002+10:00

Failures and rejections are the best motivations. Definitely.

Went for a run today and I've got my stamina back. I'm thinking of training for marathon. Hah.

Just a thought.

PS:

I think I forgot to mention that my Apple baby arrived on Monday!

So this is what I've been missing out on all these years. Sheeesh.

PPS:

Spring is here. Much love.

Ouch.

2011-09-20T11:26:00.005+10:00

It hurts to love someone when we can’t tell them what we really feel because sometimes we get hurt without them knowing. We get jealous even if we have no right to feel that way. We want their time even if we are not in the position to demand for it. Although our hearts are breaking in silence, we still continue to love them because somehow in this hurtful love there is still hope of having simple moments with them even if it means being just a friend.

Maybe that is one of the reasons why sometimes, I would rather not have anyone in my life, at least not until it's proven through time to be mutual and reciprocal.

Oh well, I have the tendency to get myself jaded and bruised when it comes to love.

And they say love is masochistic. I guess that makes me a masochist.

So true.

Current status:

I'm in desperate need of a romantic love stories marathon so I can bath myself in loss and sorrows.

Jeez.

Anyway, we are having our mid-sem break for the coming two weeks.

My plan is to catch up on lectures, essays and tutorial readings. But then again, we shall see how well do I end up sticking to that.

My experience is telling me that the chances are slim.

Oh, and I also want to finish the wrinkly TIME magazines I fished out from my laundry basket. wtf. They are the perfect toilet readings aren't they?

Dorryy flew back to Malaysia yesterday :(

Of course I felt sad, which explains the tone of this post, I guess, but there's no point acknowledging the emptiness I'm feeling inside because it will just kill me even more, doing more harm than good.

Our BOLDs from three different generations.

Gotta give it to BBM though, for being the sole technological platform that's keeping us in touch with each other.

PS:

Went Las Chicas yesterday and the giant Breaky Burito absolutely satisfied my brunch and mexican food cravings.

Talking bout hitting two birds with one stone.

PPS:
We were shown this film, "Before Sunset" in lecture and I absolutely loved it because I think it's simple yet incredibly realistic, nothing like those full-blown "romantic" movies of extravagant dates and out-of-the-world courtship, that sets out to feed one's fantasies about love.

Throughout this movie, it's just two people walking and talking around Paris. Their encounter plays out in real time, which means the length of the movie is the duration of their time spent together in Paris. Good stuff.

Apparently it's a sequel to "Before Sunrise" that's even more romantic so I'm still trying to get my hands on a copy of that.

Highly recommended.

Congratulations, Dory.

2011-09-15T23:37:00.005+10:00

With love

PS:

Will post more pictures during break. Pinky promise.

Nah, Shan, here's a bigger version of the picture so you don't have to strain your eyes staring at the small ones in Facebook. heh.

PPS:

Did I mention that Dorry is getting braces too? :)

It's contagious.

Embrace Colors

2011-09-12T19:22:00.004+10:00

I'm a person of monochrome when it comes to dressing style.

The truth is, Black seems to be the only color I will always go for. ALWAYS. Because it's safe, timeless, classic and flattering.

Can't blame me.

But I'm starting to incorporate colors into my wardrobe. Given that "Green is the new Black", my new favourite color turns out to be Green. That being said, I only allow myself one piece of colored garment at a time, might it be a green skirt, electric blue blazer, pink top or a yellow clutch, or even a pair of red heels.

Never "all-of-the-above" for me, because I'm all about taking baby steps.

Btw, it's Melbourne Spring Fashion Week!

Can't wait for the weather to turn warm so I can be out and about donning thin cardigans and playful dresses.

PS:

We will be having our mid-semester break next week.

I'm so looking forward to spending day and night under my duvet, catching up on my TV series.

Maybe I will read a book or two. But they've gotta be inspirational.

PPS:

Why isn't there any good movies screening at the cinema nowadays???

Don't you dare tell me the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. sheeesh.

Tune for a Cozy Saturday Night

2011-09-10T19:05:00.004+10:00

Soothingly mellow songs make my day.

I find it funny how I used to be a huge metal/rock/emo rock music fan. The noisier the better. All the screaming that used to excite me, gives me massive headache now instead.

Talking bout a 180 degree change in music taste.

I guess people do change ... some for the better but some for the worse.

And yes, by this time tomorrow, Dory will be back in Melbourne.

It would be just like old times.

Short but sweet, there's no doubt about it.

PS:

"Being in a relationship isn't about the kissing, the dates, or the showing off. It's about being with that person that makes you happy in a way no one else can." ♥

PPS:

Will be attending MoMU Ball next Friday :)

Listen to Your Parents

2011-09-09T22:10:00.011+10:00

My dad always tell me, "there's nothing money can't solve"

Me being a sceptic, I didn't really buy into it, thinking that he's just exaggerating the power of money. Pffttt. Besides, we've always been told that money can't buy you happiness, money can't buy you love and money can't buy you health...

A-ha, there are a lot more things that money can't buy!

But, over the years, I have come to realize that... my dad was right:

There's nothing money can't solve.

Trust me, I think I've exhausted my resources in trying to prove my dad wrong.

Well, I usually don't like being told of the ultimate answer or truth but prefer going through the process of finding it out myself, thinking that it would be more valuable and insightful, in my opinion.

In the end, I've come to the conclusion that money can solve everything *sorta* (I'm leaving some room for negotiation still). Because, whenever you're in a difficult situation, there's always a solution or a way out, as long as you're willing to pay for it.

Of course, the difference lies within our willingness-to-pay so we make do with what we have.

You missed your flight. No Biggie. Just issue and pay for a new ticket so that you won't be stranded in a foreign country.

You lost your phone. Easy. Get a new one.

You're feeling sad and heartbroken, people always encourage you to engage in retail therapy/go out with friends for a movie. There you go, money can buy you happiness, although not in the way of getting back the one you loss, but by sidetracking you temporarily so that you can put your life back together and move on.

You're sick. Without money, how are you going to pay for the hefty medical bills? In this case, money can buy you health, by keeping you alive longer but not by restoring you to your prime health.

You can't get an Aussie PR, invest bazillion dollars and the Australian Government will welcome you to the country with warm embrace.

Seriously.

The cliche rings true, "Money makes the world goes round".

Okay, the trigger that brought me to this topic is, my laptop died. Just this morning.

Like drop.dead.DEAD. because the system is preventing me from accessing Windows so it just keeps restarting whenever I try to turn it on.

I can't say that I'm not slightly affected by this because the laptop has been with me for almost 4 years. So it's probably 80 year old in computer years. To be honest, laptops are never built to last that long, all thanks to the business people of Silicon Valley.

Sigh.

Anyway, I promised myself that my next computer is going to a be Mac.

Intended to ease my grief, I'm determined to replace my dead computer with a shiny and brandnew MacBookPro. Gawd, these things ain't cheap.

Without the budget that comes with my dad's stamp of approval, there would be extra stress especially at this time of the year when all the due dates are drawing in.

How am I going to finish my assignments? What time do libraries and the computer labs close? Will I be able to guarantee myself a spot in front of the computer? How am I going to print my documents? How long do I have to endure without a computer? What am I going to do with this, with that... Is this going to work? Is THAT going to work?... and the list of concerns go on...

RAGGGGGGGE!

Gotta be thankful of what parents have given us. Our parents had their share of hardships and still fighting til their very last breath to ensure that we have a easier life than they do.

That's all for now.

I'm gonna continue with ogling at images of the MBP before the real one gets delivered to my door step. Hah.

Apple sure knows how to appeal to the consumers aesthetically.

Finally, I'm crossing over to the dark side.

PS:

Starting to enjoy my quiet Friday nights at home.

Tranquillity and peace. ahhh.

PPS:

"Sometimes, it’s a lie to say that you have let go of the past, nobody let go of memories. Because really, there’s no such thing as forgetting only acceptance."

It's A Love Story

2011-09-04T23:30:00.007+10:00

Meh, I have an essay due on Friday and I'm still a little uncertain with the direction I'm going to take. It's actually a close analysis on a short sequence from the movie by Woody Allen, "Annie Hall" (1977).

I fell in love with the movie when I first saw it last semester. It's unconventional, and definitely not the kind of romantic comedies we're so used to, in the 21st century. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of modern days chick-flicks but ever since I was exposed to films dated back to the 50s -80s, I've come to appreciate them more. Ironically, I find the oldie films to be more "fresh" and experimental, given that the blockbusters churned out by Hollywood nowadays are starting to bore me. They are becoming more generic and predictable, some are absolutely CGI overkill.

Is Hollywood losing its touch? *gasp*

Anyway, coming from Woody Allen, who's a gag writer and stand-up comic, "Annie Hall" contains more intellectual wit and cultural references than any other movie ever to win the Oscar for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, and Best Screenplay. Sometimes, you just have to watch it for a few times to catch the jokes and sarcastic remarks. LOVE IT. And the fact that it's rated 98% on rottentomatoes.com, that's gotta count for something.

Again, unlike our usual love stories, there's no happy ending in "Annie Hall". All there's left was just memories that the main male narrator could reminiscent on.

They fell in love and they broke up, which is a phenomenon that's increasingly common among my peers.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder ...

Love, isn't it the most fragile thing if it fell into the wrong pair of hands. Wrong clumsy pair of hands who cannot seem to handle it with enough care and attention.

Too distracted maybe? Or love is too easily attainable that, it has lost its value over the years.

Oops, they broke a heart, fret not, they can get a new one in no time. Easy come, easy go. That's the trend with relationships.

But when you were able to find love at the right time, right moment, with the right person, it could be the most beautiful thing that one could ever experience.

That being said, a person who is willing to grow old with you, through thick and thin is extremely hard to come. If you happened to be blessed with one, who's willing to pull the weight together with you through life into the future, you should treasure it and make sure you put in your share of effort as well. Sometimes, things can get deceptive too as the phrase "I Love You" has become overrated, in my opinion. So, do keep in mind that, actions speak louder than words - one must judge with your head and your heart, it's not enough to follow what your heart desires anymore.

Sigh.

I dislike the theme of my subject this semester, which is the "Love story genre".

Why can't we have "Horror genre" so I can feast my eyes with bloody images of sliced up body parts and fetish the glorified gore.

Instead, now I have to get in the mood of the love story genre and feel the pain or loss apparent in all the love narratives screened every week.

To be honest, I think it's wearing out my hopes and faith in the whole notion of "Love".

Let's pray that I don't get depressed by the end of the semester.

Namaste.

PS:

I went Chin Chin for the 3rd time this semester.

I'm going to reject the next invitation to visit the place, albeit it being listed as No.1 "Talk of the town" in urbanspoon.com.

Jeez.

PPS:

I came to realize that, when you meet a fellow Malaysians anywhere or anytime, often it only takes 2 to 3 encounters to get both of you on the same page!

Next thing you know, you guys would be discussing about your favourite mamak stall in KL and complaining about the traffic jam back home.

It's pretty awesome.

The Big Picture.

2011-09-01T15:20:00.015+10:00

I love TIME magazines.

They keep me in touch with the world. To be honest, I don't read the news as often as I would like to, which is something I really need to improve on. Usually, my sources of news are from friends, parents and newsfeeds on Facebook.

So, I guess my ways of news gathering are not very credible aren't they?

However, the thing with the articles in TIME magazines is that, I like how they are not in a strictly objective and formal news reporting style but they are written by journalists who also put in a bit of themselves, their own experience and observations. What I mean by that is, these articles reflect their opinions to a certain extent, which essentially makes the articles more subjective... and in my opinion.. more realistic.

Additionally, they often include really powerful photographs to give you a better picture of the issues they are talking about, and in some cases, to evoke desirable emotions towards the topic. With the latest issue of the TIME that focused on "The World after Gaddafi" in Libya, there's an article that caught my attention, mainly due to the photographs featured in it.

"The Catastrophic Famine in Somalia"

"Internally displaced people find shelter in a bullet-ridden house near the Hodan refugee camp in Mogadishu, August 9, 2011. Hundreds of thousands of internally displaced people have flooded to the capital in search of food and shelter"

"A malnourished child with tuberculosis is bathed by his mother in Banadir Hospital in Mogadishu, Somalia, August 9, 2011. A day later the child died"

"A malnourished 5-month-old girl, named Farhiya, is held by her mother in a refugee camp in Mogadishu."

"Relatives of Umar Usman, 7, clean his body after he died from malnutrition at Banadir Hospital. His family was forced to delay his burial because they couldn’t find a grave site"

"In Mogadishu, most refugees crowd into makeshift shelters like these in Madina Camp, August 9, 2011."

Famine. Homelessness. Poverty. Death of children.

It breaks my heart.

Which brings me back to my title, where do I stand in the big picture?

The least I can do is to be grateful with what I have and I'd been given.

It annoys the hell out of me when people are easily bothered by the most mundane things ever, those that they call "problems" or even "crisis" in everyday life.

Okay. I know you probably have a lot going on on your plate, namely a few assignments due the following week. Pffftt. Just finish them and stop complaining, given that it's actually part of your role as a student to begin with. Also, do keep in mind that you're not the only one who has deadlines to meet because everyone else does too. It doesn't warrant you extra sympathy just because you are vocal about the things you have do, while other people don't announce theirs to the world.

One should stop whining about life being shit, because when you put things in perspective, many of us are extremely privileged and are in a much much fortunate situation, in comparison to so many others in the world.

Ironically, this is not new to us as it is exactly what we've been told all the time since we were kids.

"Finish your rice because the kids in Africa have to starve!"

"Be grateful that you have a roof over your head!"

"You should feel blessed that you have a bed and clean sheets to sleep on every night"

I guess the impact of these messages become desensitized over the years as they've been told over and over again.

It's quite unfortunate actually.

So my point is, stop complaining that you're the unluckiest person in the world and the world is being unfair to you.

The truth is, the world does not revolve around you, and you only.

This also applies to the other end of the spectrum...

Quit fantasizing that you're the smartest or prettiest or richest in the world because, there are bazillions of smarter people, prettier people, and definitely richer people out there.

Come down to earth, pretty please?

Only the humblest people deserve my respect.

In many instances, they are about acknowledging the importance of moderation, striving a balance in all aspects of life.

It gets on my nerves at times but I've learnt to stop and ask myself,

"Why bother?".

Anyway, I hope you don't mind my monk-ish rant, especially on a Thursday.

Ah, I just realized I can't use the word "monky" so I'm stuck with "monk-ish". Sheesh.

PS:

Happy belated Merdeka! and Selamat Hari Raya!

I still love my home country no matter what.

PPS:

I probably shouldn't be considering if I should fly back to Malaysia when it comes September break.

Hmm. Maybe I should. We'll see.

I'm A Tea Lady

2011-08-26T15:43:00.014+10:00

I love road trips.

Because there's something special about being immobilized together in a confined space of a moving vehicle with someone you know.

It must be the irony that makes it so intriguing.

To me, at least.

I do believe that you have to like a person enough to share a car ride with him or her. Your relationship has gotta be established to a certain level that neither of you are bothered by the occasional awkward silence. Well, even better, sometimes you guys just have so much to talk about that, there's no time for break.

On top of that, someone who shares a car ride with me, shall not be surprised by and judge my impromptu burping or ungraceful seating postures.

Excuse me, I like to make myself as comfortable as possible.

Another thing about being alone with the driver (while you're the passenger, or vice versa), you can absolutely make use of this golden opportunity by asking the most intimate questions because firstly, he or she can't run and secondly, there's no need for eye contact. So I just drill the details out of someone who is in the car with me, every time.

What's there not to love about car rides?

Anyway, Sherlyn, Jasmine, Mae and I went to Dandenong for legendary Miss Marples scones back in week 1. It's actually one of my favourite spots in Melbourne. True story.

But we had to get there by 9am or else, the crowd will start to pour in after that.

Me and Mae in one car while Sherlyn and Jasmine in another.

There's no need for walkie-talkie, just GPS.

Miss Marples Tea Room.

When we arrived, there's already a queue building up, so we had to put our names down on the waiting list but thank gawd it was a short wait. Later in the day, it's not uncommon that you might get told to wait for 60 minutes just for a table.

I didn't mind the wait actually, because there's a quaint little tea shop next to it where we could waste time .... and money. Of course.

There were so many quirky teapots! It's like a house where a teapots hoarder would live in! Can't say that I didn't consider choosing one for myself if it weren't for the hefty price tags. The ones that caught my eyes cost more than $40.

Why do I have such expensive taste, WHY.

Beside the extensive collection of teapots and whatnots, don't get me started on the varieties of teas available. Just like a kid in a candy shop, I was a lady in a tea shop. If that makes any sense at all.

I'm not exactly a tea person as I will always choose coffee over tea, anytime. But, after all the sniffing, I actually like the scent of tea. From earl grey to rose and to all kinds of fruit teas, they smell amazing and surprisingly calming.

I'm a convert.

Women being women, we ended up buying heaps.

Enough of my new found admiration towards tea, the wait was over and we eagerly made our way back to Miss Marples for our table.

Some oldie black and white pictures on the wall that I could marvel at.

Candid shot.

Not the most flattering angle. Shush.

Ready to order.

Food..... glorious food.....

Mae says YUM.

The food is not super SUPER spectacular or anywhere near gourmet dishes but I still love Miss Marples.

I will go back. Only with people I adore though.

PS:

I came across a saying:

"Being single doesn't mean you don't know anything about love, it just means you know enough to wait for it"

My sentiments exactly, despite the harsh fact that, I do not have control over how long the wait is going to be.

I will just deal with it and always have been.

PPS:

Dory is going to be back in town in 15 days.

Dayem, that's fast!

My 2 cents on Make-up

2011-08-21T15:31:00.009+10:00

Just because the weather is sunny and warm outside, I've decided to choose a lighter topic to blog about, instead of my usual monk-ish speech on life and happiness and mindfulness yada yada... okay....

I'm gonna blog about my favourite Make-up products.

You may excuse my self-portraits. Please and thank you.

Well, we are constantly being bombarded with bazillion make-up brands and products out there in the market, targeted to different segments of consumers (both guys and girls, young and old - very lucrative business), with prices ranging from less than RM10 to more than RM200, easily. I can't say that I'm an expert or that I've tried ALL of them, but I have come across some products that managed to stand out and proved themselves worthy of my loyalty as well as love.

To be honest, I prefer not to make-up at all. I like to go out barefaced mainly because I'm just plain lazy and sometimes I find the idea of putting on make-up extremely ridiculous. Think about this, we spend all these money on buying things to put onto our faces, then again we spend another chunk of cash on things to wash them off. Then, we favour long-lasting make-up, yet we also demand for cleaning products that get rid of them, 100% of them if possible.

So redundant. Pfft.

So I'm usually out and about looking like this:

or in most days when I have class, I walk around campus proudly looking like this:

Sigh. Not cool. I know.

But, I think I've watched enough videos and read enough female magazines to know about make-up 101. Over the years, I've been experimenting with make-up products, most of them always end up in the bin, still almost brand new because I only use 'em once in a blue moon while we're supposed to dispose them frequently, or so I believe. Through trial-and-error, I've learnt to pick up those suitable for my personal preferences.

Here's the amount of make-up products that remained after years of elimination rounds.

Basically, I only have one primer, one foundation powder, one contouring powder, one highlighter, one liquid blusher, one concealer, one loose powder, one eyeliner .... My point is, I only keep those I use the most that serve specific functions.

I know girls with 3 foundation (liquid + powder + mousse), six mascaras and probably fourteen lip glosses and whatnot.

Absolute absurdity. Yeah. Women.

M.A.C Mineralize Skin Finish Natural

I use this product for contouring my face. I bought the slanted brush from M.A.C. as well. So I just apply the powder on both sides of my face from the temples down to the neck, to create the illusion of a slimmer face. The downside is, the darker tint on the sides can look rather obvious under the sun, so I apply more strokes when I'm going out at night and less for the day.

Anyhow, using it gives you "slimmer" face. WIN.

Benefit High Beam

After contouring, here comes the highlighting.

THIS is something I can't leave the house without. I dab it on my nose and rub it on the bridge so the shine makes it looks like I had rhinoplasty. No kidding. I also dab it on my cheeks to create the high cheekbones effect. This is also something I would totally buy for my girl friends as gifts because it is THAT awesome.

Benefit Benetint

This is definitely my favourite blusher because it's in liquid form. Easy application and extremely natural. It lasts forever too. Enough said.

Benefit "That Girl" Primer

This is one of those products which you don't know why you need it but you just do!

I was skeptical when the sales person introduced it to me but after she had applied it on half of my face, I could instantly see the difference.

It evens out the skin tone and makes your complexion looks radiant but again, very natural. It gives you the "glow-from-within" look that makes you wonder, "How did it do that?"

Sometimes, I have no idea where I did I pick up on these terminologies.

Clinique lash power volumizing mascara

I believe this is the underdog in the world of mascaras.I have given up on all the other brands that everyone was raving about. You name it, I tried it. I dislike the clumps.

But I've been using mascaras by Clinique because they have smaller brushes specially designed for my non-existent eyelashes and for easy application when it comes to my small Asian eyes.

I have a story about my Asian eyes and it goes like this:

When Wilcent took a picture of me and Jacey on his camera and showed it to us for our stamp of approval, I asked,

"Eh, why is it so blur?"

Jacey pointed to my face in the picture and replied,

"Where got blur? your eyes too small in the picture only! That's why looks like it's blurred"

-____-

ceeelaaakaaa.

That's the normal L'oreal mascara brush on the left and the Clinique mascara brush on the right.

IT WAS A GODSEND. Small brushes FTW.

Here comes my secret weapons for my Asian eyes:

M.A.C. Fake lashes

I love them to pieces. They gave me eyes.

Although M.A.C. lashes are so much more expensive that those wholesale packed lashes from Taiwan, they can last very long if they are taken good care of.

I had a pair that lasted me one semester! My most faithful pair is the one on the far left.

Sue-Mae swears by Shu Uemura's lashes but I've not tried. So, I will give them a go one day to judge if they can trump my army of M.A.C. lashes.

There goes my 2 cents.

I can go on with the whole underlying message on easily attainable yet less sustainable outer beauty and the more sustainable inner beauty that's harder to come by, but I'll just save the cliche for myself.

PS:

I love Ajahm Brahm's talk on "Dealing with emotions". Very relatable.

He calls negative emotions the "growing pains" and they are prominent parts of life. Embrace them so that positive emotions can grow, at the expense of the negative ones.

PPS:

Oh Spring.

Who are we to whine about life?

2011-08-17T19:55:00.005+10:00

I have a weak spot for emotive photographs

Love them.

Anyway, I stumbled upon this video last week but the images and underlying message found a place in my heart and will stay there forever.

It's a video that put a smile on my face yet brought me to tears.

To be honest, I've watched the video a couple of times, to remind myself that I'm not in a position to complain about life being unfair.

Well actually, life is unfair because that kid didn't get a pair of arms while most of us did.

PS:

Cold, wet and dark are the 3 words that apply to the weather lately.

Gotta make extra effort to up my productivity.

PPS:

Academic work is pouring in.

Bring.It.On.

But the hardest part of letting go, is trying to find a way to let you know.

2011-08-11T15:38:00.008+10:00

I think it's comforting to know that you will always have a shoulder to cry on, no matter what.
Ups and downs in life are inevitable, so it's up to you to handle them. They are all just perceptions really. In fact, the world works in mysterious ways so who knows, you might find happiness and opportunities in the least expected places.

Yesh, there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

I've been asked so many times lately, "How's life?"

But every time I answered "Life's good" and I could sense the sarcasm in the other person's response.

No kidding!

Or maybe, I over think. pfft.

I know I get pissed at things that do not go my way, I get annoyed by how other people handle things irresponsibly and I feel remorseful when I think of my own wrongdoings and stupidity, but at the end of the day, everything will pass.

Cry, if you have to... Run in the rain if you feel like it... just do what you think would make you feel better as long as you acknowledge the fact that...

Life goes on.

PS:

I keep being mistaken as second year student, and I always amaze myself by watching their change of facial expressions as I clarify that, I'm actually in my 5th year already.

old cow.

PPS:

I received this as a gift. I think it's a clever yet playful spin and I love it.

Follow me back into the Sun

2011-08-07T15:59:00.016+10:00

I hate the winter now and I miss summer.

Hola~ (Just found out about the "h" being silent in Spanish)

It's a stay-at-home Sunday for me and I feel like blogging about my trip to Spain and Portugal with my mum. However, I would like to apologize if you're looking for detailed information about the places to visit because I've decided that, this is just going to be a photos post.

I think I can do better by sharing my experience through photographs than words. Besides, you won't want me listing and explaining the places that I visited over 10 days in one post right?

I know I will then resort to just picture + caption... picture + caption... as I get lazy towards the end of the post.

Meh.

Anyhow, we covered places such as Madrid, Toledo, Seville, Cordoba, Granada, Valencia, Barcelona and Lisbon (Portugal).

So, here are snippets of Spain and Portugal which I thought were memorable and amusing.

Then again, I'm easily amazed.

I absolutely fell in love with Gaudi's work, which includes the infamous Sagrada Familia. So gorgeous. I ended up hoarding books about his work and his life when we were in Barcelona.

The one and only most authentic Portuguese egg tarts from Café Pastéis de Belém, Lisbon, are worth mentioning because they are nothing like what we can get everywhere else. It's a whole new level of yummilicious when it comes to egg tarts.

Gawwd, I've gotta admit, it doesn't feel right to be cheated for the past 23 years of my life.

That's all for now. Adiós.

PS:

Starting on week 3 already.

9 more academic weeks til graduation. *Gasps*

PPS:

I wanna learn French. For real.

"Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support"

2011-07-29T23:39:00.010+10:00

Of all the heartfelt quotations related to "friendship" and I chose that as the title of this blogpost, because I think it's the perfect simile that me and my fellow female friends can easily relate to. It's not my deliberate intention to exclude men, but I know you guys are not genetically wired to be sentimental, or to put it in another way, men are generally less expressive about their feelings.

Anyway, one of my closest friends is leaving Melbourne for good tomorrow. It will be a lie to say that I'm not sad, in fact, I have tears streaming down my face as I'm typing this. I'm aware that it's going to take time to get used to her absence, so I'm allowing myself to grieve. Well, that's because she's more than a friend to me and also, I'm not a monk yet, I have yet to master the ultimate skill of "letting go".

Dear Ajahm Brahm, it's definitely easier said than done.

I just have to include that picture taken in 2006 to show how far we have come since then. As I can still vividly recall, it was our very first night outing to try the infamous Il Dolce Freddo ice-cream. It's one of the reasons why Freddo ice-cream means so much to us, it plays a rather big part in our lives as students.

Yes. It's awesome. And, Dory (a nick name that stuck. Hah.) used to work there. Bazinga.

In the blink of an eye, it's been more than 5 years. Due to some factors, we drifted apart for a year or two in between but what's more important is that, we managed to pick up the pieces and rebuilt our friendship from ground zero, to a much deeper level than we could have envisioned. I've gotta admit, she's one of the most genuine person that I've ever met; no hidden agenda and no pretense. After all these years, I know for sure that she would be there for me no matter what. She always puts everyone else before herself, always. She's the one I can rely on and one whom I can talk to about anything, everything under the sun. We share the same values, same perspective in life, same attitudes but never the same clothing sizes. Sigh.

These people are hard to come by, yet I'm thankful to be blessed with a handful of them to accompany me in the journey life. To make me feel better about her departure, I keep convincing myself that, with the advancement of communication technology and increasingly affordable transportation, everything will still be the same and that she's just 8 hours flight away. We can still Facebook and BBM each other. But, deep down, we know things will be different because that's just life. Nothing ever lasts forever. As the saying goes, "what goes up must come down" so, I believe that what goes down will eventually revives back to equilibrium too.

We'll be okay.

PS:

Need to come up with coping mechanism for the coming months, maybe more gym and library.

Sounds like a plan.

PPS:

I wish you all the best in life and may you be able to find love no matter where you are.

Take care.

One year older

2011-07-27T16:15:00.003+10:00

... and wiser.Maybe?

Turned 23 today.
For some bizarre reasons, I have never been a fan of birthdays. Maybe it's a residual effect from my childhood, growing up as an only kid...
I don't like being put in the spotlight or to be in the center of attention. (i.e., If I were to choose between jumping off the cliff OR being sung happy birthday song to while standing on a chair in a restaurant, I will choose the former.)

I tend to get uncomfortable with everything on my the day of birth date. Sheesh.

Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the love and wishes so thank you all!
I guess I shall make an exception this year given that this might be the last time that I get to celebrate it together with my close circle of friends.

It can get cliche-y but I do see it as a celebration of friendship. Period.

Ezard tonight. Movida tomorrow and Guhng on Saturday.

PS:

I think I'm not gonna be able to fit into the dress I bought for my birthday dinner, before my break.

PPS:

Being asked in my film studies tutorial, what's my favourite love story?

Sadly, I didn't have anything in mind, I still don't.

We'll see.

Just to let you know oh whoa oh oh...

2011-07-23T19:27:00.004+10:00

.. that I missed you.

PS:

Flight back to Melbourne tomorrow. I can get used to this.

PPS:

Happy birthday to all the Leo babies! Rawr.

Ola~

2011-07-21T02:50:00.003+10:00

Just got back from Spain, which means I'm back to the "real world", the world where my worries and concerns do not mainly revolve around the availability of Chanel bags I have on my list and what can I do on my long hours bus rides (although my options were only: sleep OR stare blankly through the bus window).

Sigh.

Twas fun being a mindless dupe, at least for 12 days.

Anyway, I had a great time in Spain and we met a bunch of pretty awesome people. It's good to be around total strangers once in awhile, because these people don't know who you are and who you were, as it's up to you to start fresh. They can only perceive you based on how you present yourself. You're the one who decide who do you want to be and how much of yourself that you want to share.

I could be a contestant on Master Chef Australia, the only Malaysian who made it through to the finals but got eliminated in the mystery box challenge because I didn't have enough time for the Balsamic sauce to reduce, which was the most important element of the dish. Oh and, I'm a really bitchy person so all the contestants hated me to core.

But of course, I decided to be just me, a 23 year old from Seremban who's still in university. Pfft.

Hopefully I will have to the time to share some photos I took because I really enjoyed the visits to cathedrals and palaces, mostly UNESCO World Heritage sites.

I think "very breathtaking" is probably an understatement.

I'm leaving for Melbourne on Sunday night, arriving on Monday morning and my classes starting at 9am til 6pm on the day of my arrival.

What a great start, don't you think?

PS:

Gotta run errands before I go back.

In another words, I need to do some shopping before I leave.

PPS:

And, it was nice to be around a group of people where I'm not the oldest but one of the few youngest.

I have so much more to learn.

What has changed.

2011-06-27T00:30:00.007+10:00

To be honest, it felt rather different to be home this time in comparison to my previous trips back. My rationale being, this could possibly be the last time I'm back for holidays as a student so I prioritize my advantages before they get taken away. I know ( and I've been told too many times) when one starts working, having a true holiday will be an indulgence. For the working bunch, having a longer weekend, which is getting an extra day off on Monday is already a celebration, that university students like me do not value. I mean seriously, I only have 2 days of classes in a week. pfft. It is just something I get to "brag" about while I still can.

Another thing being, coming back to Malaysia this time is kinda like a trip for me to "test water". That being said, I've been asking around about the prospects of coming back to work and making mental notes on what do I have to change in order to adapt/assimilate back into the Malaysian culture. As much as I hate to admit, I've been away for a little too long. For example, there are little things like, I might be too used to leaving my phones and wallet on the table at the mamak or I naturally expect the cars to stop for the pedestrians while I cross the road. Then, I kept forgetting to add on the tax to the prices listed on the board when I was out getting starbucks or when we split the bills. Of course there are other bigger things such as differences in work ethics and employee/employer relationships that I need to be aware of. So, I need to make sure that I accept these changes and willing to exert the effort to fit in, which I'm sure it won't take long. Maybe the part where I need to brush up on my Malay language might be a little problematic, other than that, I think I will get there. Fingers crossed.

I've been back for a week already and most of my time was spent at home with my parents, making sure that my mum is taking care of her health and also to exchange information with my daddy, giving me his two cents on life principles. I also did some catching up with my high school friends but then I realized how hard it is to organize a simple get together with everyone at this point in life. Not that I'm not thrilled to find out how everyone is busy with their own lives, just that it made me think about how far we have come and how much more we have ahead of us. Maybe, the next time I see this particular friend again, will only be at her wedding or at another friend's baby shower *Gasp*

I blame technology for speeding up the pace of life. As The Narrator from Fight Club said, "this is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time". I believe technology has changed our understanding of a "minute", shaping us to live life by the "seconds" or even "milliseconds".

So much for being a double-edge sword. Sigh.

Okay, finally you've reached the more bimbotic part of the post.

I like my new hair color!

I like that it's more subtle this time or in another word, "safe". heh

No idea what's gotten into me. Must be the Malaysian air that makes me all girlie again.

Bought new sunnies from the relocated bright and shiny Chanel boutique in KLCC, kinda analysed their strategic decisions in store design and product display. Well, I believe there are reasons why companies such as Chanel and Tiffany&Co. get to survive and still going strong after more than 100 years!

Absolutely unfathomable brilliance.

PS:

Good to be back attending Pilates classes.

I have my classes at a ballet studio and there were so many tiny little balerinas running around in their pink Lycra outfits and tutus and white leggings!!!!!

SO FUCKING ADORABLE CAN.

PPS:

Change of plan, we are now going to Spain and Portugal.

Baby is Home

2011-06-22T17:52:00.005+10:00

It feels so good to be finally home. Just like a true holiday. Such a relief.

I'm mama and papa's girl again because I will leave it to them to worry about feeding me and keeping me occupied for now. More importantly, I can finally take guilt-free naps and be able to walk around my house in my beloved marathon tee shirt from high school.

Just things I can't do in my shoebox apartment where everything is less than 5 steps away. I know it sounds cool and convenient at first, but after sometime, it's not.

Anyway, I couldn't take it anymore. I've searched high and low for my favourite classic black pair, yet I had managed to refrain from making my purchase every single time... in Paris, London, Hong Kong, USA, Bangkok, Australia etc.

But, I finally succumbed to it, in Malaysia.

I've done the price comparisons to the point that, I can construct a "Varina Index" instead of the infamous "Big Mac Index".

My dad knows I had my eyes on them since 2 years ago and he teased that if I'd bought my first pair the first time, I would be buying my second pair by now.

Oh well, it's the whole reverse psychology thingy. The more he encourages me to buy something, the more I refuse. It works like magic on me. GAH.

That's all for now.

PS:

There's a change of plan. We are not going to Paris anymore because the travel agent cancelled on it. So lame.

My dad is not giving up so he's looking at substitutes.

PPS:

Seeing my hairstylist tomorrow. As much as I love and miss my short hair, but this time, I will tell him, please don't make me look like a lesbo or a pre-pubescent boy.

Thank you very much.

Chic-flick Night

2011-06-17T01:26:00.005+10:00

Bradley Cooper is so good looking but he's a such a douche. Drew Barrymore is still as lovable and Scarlett Johansson is so smokin' hawt.

Well, I'm finally done with another semester so I've got one more semester to go before graduation.

Seriously, 5 years of a normal undergraduate education... I think we deserve the respect for the determination and patience to go through with it, because I know some would call us irrational, saying we're just wasting our time.

I mean, it's definitely different from people who are in a 5 years dentistry or veterinary course where you get to be called a DOCTOR and you get to earn a lot more because you're now a professional once you're out. While, for us, we just come out as a degree holder, among the millions out there, pushing the unemployment rate off the roof.

But, I guess there's no point arguing who's wrong and who's right now eh?

For me, although I didn't know why did I sign myself up for this in the first place, I know I have to finish what I started. It can be a good thing or a bad thing about me, the fact that I'm not so much of a quitter, unless when I know it's time to call it, especially in situations where my well-being is in jeopardy. eeek.

So, I don't see if there's anything wrong with spending 2 more years than anyone else in university. At least I get to study what I like as well as what's practical to survive in the money-driven world, which is why I ended up having four majors. Kiasu much? And I get to enroll myself in subjects conducted overseas. For instance, I would not have had the opportunity to spend 3 weeks in the States if it weren't for the "Searching for the American Dream" subject. I call these experiences my "growth spurts" of my life.

Like I said, it's not wrong, it's just different.

Anyway, I finished my paper. Got home. Went dinner.

Watch "X-men: First Class" (not exactly a chic-flick) and was a little disappointed with the lack of the "wow" factor for me. They did not bring out the big guns or the big explosions that I like but they did touched on many historical events such as the concentration camp of the Nazis, the nuclear war, JF Kennedy's epic speeches of his time etc.

Then, I saw the trailer for "Green Lantern". Wtf. As much as I love Ryan Reynold, the movie looks kinda lame.

Now, I'm slowly getting to my Chic-flick part.

I came home and watched "He's just not that into you". It made me teared up a little and made me Aww-out-loud at times.

It's very "Love Actually" and "Valentine's Day". I guess they belong in the same genre don't they?

They are made for the hopeful and delusional ladies, making them believe that true love exists despite acknowledging the fact that there are too many shit guys in the world?

pffft.

But I still love them (chic-flicks, not shit guys). I'm looking forward to "Bridesmaid" as I will probably be catching it in Malaysia instead

This post sounds a lot like a "Dear Diary..." entry.

Aite, have a great weekend everyone!

PS:

I am so not used to the current length of my hair. They are so long and always IN-MY-FACE all the time. Grrr.

Let's hope I would not chop them off, out of annoyance.

PPS:

My parents always request for the weirdest things. Last time, it was indomee and now, they want tubs of "Nutellas".

What the heck.

2011-06-15T20:31:00.010+10:00

I'm feeling extremely restless now.

Like a first year noob.

I'm having my first and final exam tomorrow.

Finance 101, hate it or love it.

I feel like I haven't done enough...

But, I've studied the textbook, memorized the lectures notes and theories, re-did my tutorial work, done the past-year and I have been staring at the formula sheet for days already... I think I can free recall the formulas even.

Yet, it still doesn't feel right...

like I've left out something.

It's never enough isn't it?

Sigh.

I guess, the only thing left to fill the void, is to finally sit for the paper... get it over and done with.

Honestly, I'm really looking forward to my trip back to Malaysia. Like I always do.

And, to go shopping on Chapel St...

have macarons in Luxbite...

check out the cakes in Burch & Purchese...

have proper sit down dinner, followed by the musical, "Love Never Dies". I'm excited.

... all that's planned for the coming Friday!

Also, it's about time that I get back to my "normal" days.

Days when I could workout at least twice a week. I'm seriously missing Yoga and gym.

Days when I still had control over my diet. Now, I'm just pilling on the carbs. Or, I don't eat at all.

Days when dinner on a Friday night is NOT the only thing I look forward to, in a week.

Days when I could watch Grey's and Private Practice episodes in bed. They are on hiatus again. GAH.

Days when I could go on msn and talk cock with my friends until late.

Days when I do not resort to only jeans and hoodies. Truth is, I can't remember the last time I put on eyeliner!

Even food has become secondary so where do you think "looks and appearance" fit in?

Ah, for fuck's sake, it's only been one month and it's not even real work in the corporate world... yet I'm here whining about needing a vacation.

I need to grow up. Period.

PS:

Do stay tuned for my blog post on my epic Friday :)

PPS:

I kinda know that I would turn out to be a workaholic.

It's the last paper syndrome

2011-06-10T21:16:00.009+10:00

The past two weeks were barely bearable.

I felt like a hobo zombie. seriously.

No proper REM sleep (while it was cold as hell). Deprived of warm cooked food. Lack of social activities. And, I was really smelly (Well, shouldn't we be glad for the former).

Anyway, the point is, I felt... Ew.

But thank gawd it's all over now.

At least I know I don't enjoy being a neurotic writer.

Handed in second final essay yesterday.

Returned two big stacks of library books (I'm a hoarder) then I found one that was left behind... in my laundry basket just now.

-__-

I surprise myself at times.

I've gotta admit... I do most of my thinking in the bathroom.

Sometimes, because I was too distracted, thinking about my arguments or essay structure in the shower, I couldn't recall if I had shampooed my hair or not.

Fret not, usually, I would shampoo again, just in case.

Went shopping in the city because I felt like splurging.

Even if it's just on a $2 sushi... Well, of course I did better than that.

Then I found out that Myers is having massive sales...

Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors, Fendi, Louboutins, Blahniks, D&G, Tod's... all the shoes were on massive discounts like mountains of Vinccis you find in Malaysia...

But when I turned the shoe over and the price sticker on the red sole read, "$595" - after reduction.

What bullshit.

Went dinner, came home, then went for drinks at Madame Brussels.

Man, I love that place.

This bar review article can describe better than I can.

I don't have a picture of it so here are some ripped from Google search.

Pink walls, fake grass, rooftop terrace, waitresses in cute outfits and I love their cocktails in jars, that came with a chinese plastic chopstick as a stirrer. So clever.

I particularly enjoyed nibbling on slices of fruits soaked in the cocktail.

So yea.

I love that place.

OH. Matt Preston from Master Chef was there too!

Sitting at the table next to us while we pretended we didn't know who he was. HAHA.

It was blardy damn awkward.

Okay, I shall stop my procrastination crap and get started on my last paper.

I knew I had that Gaga in me even when I was a kid.

PS:

I'm saving my bigger splurge for next week after my final exam.

Gotta end with a bang!

My dad is gonna be proud of me.

PPS:

Argh, I'm so OCD when it comes to vacuuming.

I can explain

2011-06-03T20:42:00.008+10:00

As requested, here are some pictures of the current condition of my sanctuary.

Well, "aviary" seems more like it.

-.-

Shan, you've gotta trust me when I said the only seat available in my house is the toilet seat. I wasn't even trying to be funny.

Definitely, not something that I'm proud of and it's not always like this, I swear.

I'm one of those who clean and tidy stuffs up because I find it extremely therapeutic. And, cleaning is the perfect procrastination material too.

Or, for more practical reason, I kinda have to keep my apartment neat, or else I won't be able to move around.

So, this is my breakfast table turned study table.

You probably cannot tell, but I'm applying "Method of Loci" here, to remember where I get my references/quotes from. wtf.

History people are very anal about dates.

ARGH.

And no, that's not a bookstand but a 600 bucks Bose speaker.

Sometimes, I use it to blast Gaga whenever I'm stressed because Gaga would assure me,
"I'm on the right track, baby. I was born this way."

Very empowering.

Here's a picture of my computer table, where I only use it when I need to read up on journals.

Post-its with my main points/arguments:

Basically, my argument is on "Technological Determinism" as technology functions as an ideological tool that mystifies mechanisms of power and domination.

There you go, 3000 words summarized in 1 sentence.

My writing is not usually as cakar ayam but I can't be fucked.

I feel like I'm on MTV Crib.

So, just like what celebrities always do at the end of the house tour....

"AM ON MA PHONE! GET THE HELL OUTTA MA HAUS!"

I think I'm going cuckoo...

and maybe a little punny.

PS:

"Cuckoo" and "Aviary"..

Did you geddit??!

PPS:

I wore this to dinner just now, as we planned to have Italian but tak jadi.

We ended up having Japanese.

Now I want that sushi tee.

Maybe 18 months too early

2011-06-02T19:07:00.007+10:00

Ah, I like the serenity that cathedrals provide.

When you're inside, it feels like everything is going to be okay, doesn't matter even if it's all War-of-the-Worlds outside.

Anyway, hopefully the picture will set the tone of this post.

Because I just want to say that...

I'm ready.

I'm ready to go back to Malaysia for good when I've come to the end of my journey here in Melbourne.

Well, I've decided to stay on for another year of higher education, pursuing my interest in respective field. And, after that, I will march right into the next phase of my life, even if it means I have to pack my 7 years of possessions into boxes and ship them back to Malaysia... or wherever my life leads to.

You've gotta admit, it feels good to be able to make up your mind for something in the future, amidst the risks and uncertainties ahead.

For the past few days, I've been burying myself in books and papers and online journals, dived right into the 18th century... 17th century... trying to understand the historical grand ideas of philosophers such as Foucault, McLuhan, Marx, Nietzche, Freud and Aristotle alike.

They are rather crazy I would say, the brilliant kind.

It was extremely draining at first, but after connecting the dots, everything seems to make sense now.

But, I'm still bothered by the idea that, humanity maybe at risk, if not... it's slipping away as I type.

Let's not go there, shall we.

What I'm getting at is... while I was struggling with my essay, I noticed that my friends were checking up on me occasionally, maybe just a simple text, to make sure that I was okay.... Or in Shan's term... that "I was alive".

Letting me know that I'm not alone.

They offered help, food, and most importantly moral support, that never failed to make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

For the past 6 years, I know that I've met some awesome people here, who made me a better person, really.

Friends come and go but there are some that still linger after a period of time. Sometimes, I usually take it as a cue that... they are going to be here for long.

I just want to let them know that, they've made a mark in my life and in my hippocampus, the region of the brain crucial to memory.

PS:

Meh, it's Friday already

Where did my week go??

PPS:

Extremely Yoga deprived.

When kids say the meanest things

2011-05-27T23:00:00.009+10:00

This week's screening for my arts subject is a fictional documentary by Abbas Kiarostami called, "Ten".

Brief summary of what the film is about:

"Award-winning Iranian filmmaker Abbas Kiarostami uses the casual setting of one woman's automobile as the setting for a subtle but potent look at gender issues in the Middle East. Mania Akbari plays a nameless woman who, over the course of several days, gives a number of friends, family members, and acquaintances a ride in her car across town, among them her young son who is still upset over his parent's recent divorce; her sister; a close friend who has just been abandoned by her boyfriend; an older woman on her way to a worship service; another friend soon to be married; and a veteran streetwalker.

As the woman and her passengers ride through Tehran, their conversations cast a light on her views of herself, as well as the ways other women view themselves and the larger world around them. Director Kiarostami shot Ten using two small digital video cameras, one of which was mounted on the car's dashboard, the other in a fixed position in the back seat, using this purposefully stark approach to keep the focus on the characters and their ideas."

Feminist issues aside, what struck me most about the film was the whole idea of "Parenting" mainly due to the thoughts that raced through my mind as I was watching the sequences of the kid verbal bashing his mum in the car.

Firstly, I began to feel extremely furious, mostly at myself because I used to do that ALL-THE-TIME. It felt exactly like watching myself on the screen; memories from my childhood and adolescence was played out vividly.. Self-reflexivity was definitely at work.

I used to fight with my mum when she drove me to tuition classes.

I used to scream at her when she forced me to attend piano classes.

I used to slam the car door really hard and run home in tears.

I used to give her the silent treatment because we got in the car ride after a quarrel at home.

I'm pretty sure that's not all that I had done to hurt my mum and I think I was capable of abusing dramatic and hurtful words I learnt from all the TVB series I used to watch.

When I was an audience watching the kid on screen, I wanted to slap that boy so badly... but 10 years ago, that kid was me.

Here's a clip of the kid's sequence:

Which brings me to my second point, I'm ~~not sure~~ pretty sure I'm not ready to be a parent yet, not financially and not mentally.

I would strangle my kid and trade his/her organs in the black market for extra cash.

Imagine all the pain and effort that you put in, you poured your heart and soul, yet your kid won't understand a single bit, let alone appreciate you. At least not yet... more often than not, they never do.

Only if you're lucky (like my mum. heh), 23 years down the road, your kid slowly grows up to be a responsible human being of the society, then you finally feel rewarded, thinking that everything was worth it.

Yet, I'm not even sure if "reward" and "worth" are the appropriate words to use because you still can't put a monetary value on anything and everything. This is not an investment, it's definitely not a contract you enter into, knowing what you have to give, what you will get and when you're getting them.

It's all about unconditional love.

Doesn't matter what does your kid do to hurt you, disappoint you, disagree with you... You still have to love them for who they are, be there for them and protect them by giving them the support they desperately needed. And, doesn't matter what other people say about your son or daughter, you still have to toughen up and do what's best for them.

Because, it's not about you anymore, it's about your children.

Having a child is a commitment of a life's time, at least that's what I would think. You can't just walk out or quit when bad things happen.

And trust me, there are bazillion things that can go wrong!

As much as I love kids. I'm not ready to be a mum yet.

But I know I will be.

Because I want to raise a good person, with my partner, who is still out there somewhere. *HELLO!*

I want to share what I know and what my parents taught me.

I want to apply what I learnt from Developmental Psychology. *a little self-indulgent*

If my child is a girl, I want to give her all my Chanel bags. hehe.

If my child is a boy, I would want to raise a good man because there are too few good men in this world.

PS:

Btw, it's worth knowing that, the mum-and-son's relationship plays a big part in shaping the male's future relationships with females, because the mother is the first female that he would have intimate relationship with. It's a fact.

When it comes to nature versus nurture, I'm one of the advocates of Team Nurture.

PPS:

Sorry ma and ba...

I was a horrible horrible kid.

It's Crunch Time

2011-05-23T19:09:00.006+10:00

"Because the clock is not only ticking, the alarm is going off, it's screaming!"

Little did I realize how quickly time has passed, how 12 weeks of classes are finishing. It's going to be Swot Vac next week already. I have two essays (3ooo words and 2500 words) due after Swot Vac, and a paper to sit on the 16th.

Well, gotta buckle up, conquer one of the last two battles of my undergrad education and come out as the ultimate winner.

Sometimes, the fact that I'm graduating at the end of year hasn't sunk in as it should have. Maybe because 5 years feels like forever. Or maybe I was desensitised as I was really tired of people asking me the same questions again and again whenever I go back to Malaysia for my break.

"When are you graduating?"
"Why is it taking so long?"

"What are you going to do after graduation?"

"Are you going to come back to Malaysia or stay on?"

"Are your parents gonna let you stay in Australia?"

I dislike people being all nosy and pretend to care while deep down, they really don't. To be honest, I don't need to explain to you what I'm going to do with my life. Even if I do, you most probably won't get it either, as you would just generalize by saying,

"But your mum misses you!!!"

-__-

Well yea, that's an incredibly realistic and practical factor to base my decisions on.

*rolls eyes*.

That's sarcasm by the way.

PS:

My current emotional turmoil and hormonal tantrums and chocolate cravings, are just PMS.

Sigh.

Doesn't matter how well I can control my emotions under normal circumstances, sometimes.. the body and chemical reactions happening inside, still win after all.

Science still rules the world.

Well, maybe subconsciously... I let them win.

PPS:

On a brighter note..

I AM GOING TO ITALY!

Gotta love Threadless.

I swear I shower daily

2011-05-18T10:30:00.002+10:00

O.O

Seriously...
Is it me or the water supply here in Melbourne turns out to be one of the few rare things that are WAYYYY CHEAPPPERRR than Malaysia?

Actually, it might have been the ONLY thing because I can't think of anything else.

Okay, maybe Tim Tams.

That's $5.80 for THREE months.

And, miraculously, my previous bill was only $2.70

I feel so stupid doing an online bill payment for $2.70.

PS:

I used to think that guys who take a long, long time to get over their previous relationships are romantic and aww-inducing but now, I think they are just weak, for abusing it as an opportunity to be a pussy.

Okay fine, you got dumped and your heart was trampled all over by a woman, who might be just half of your size (that alone already sounds embarrassing enough)..

Just pick yourself up and get over it already.

MAN UP!

Because there are so many more tragedies that life is gonna throw at you.

PPS:

One month till home!

What Do I Know

2011-05-09T21:08:00.005+10:00

"Just when we think we've figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find our way back to the things that matter the most... The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong."

- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy 7x20 White Wedding -

I like to witness the magic when thoughts are put into words. Sometimes, we take the simplicity of things for granted because we're too occupied and distracted in life. All you need to do is, pause and think for awhile. The truth is, life is easy as long as we want it to be.

I know it sounds absurd, but I have learnt quite a lot from tv series such as Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. Quotes like the one above, have contributed to the changes in the way I experience life and the way I perceive things that happen along the way.

Why should I be bothered by a shit grade for my 1000 words essay while I know I would be successful and rich few years down the road anyway?

BWHAHAHAHAHA.

PS:

Timetable is out and my paper is scheduled to be on the 16th.

I should be back in Malaysia by the 20th of June. OH JOY.

PPS:

I now have full access to the gym. It's been quite awhile since I last went on the treadmill.

Yikes.

Because It's Friday.

2011-05-06T22:45:00.003+10:00

Went to class at 10am and finished at 11am, then tried my luck with borrowing the Overnight textbook from the library. There's a last copy left on the shelf so now I have a Finance textbook all to myself over the weekend. Lucky me.

Went Yoga at 3pm and coincidently, it's my favourite instructor of all, Tim, who remembers my name every time. And, did I mention the fact that he's super hot?! Ah, it was a great session.

Finished at 5.30pm, rushed out of the Yoga place, hoping to catch a tram in time so I only had to validate my tram ticket once. As I stepped out of the door, there's a tram waiting at the red light, I ran for my life and got on. Sat down... panting but I couldn't wipe the grin off my face.

Reached home...

Took the longest hot shower ever...

Cleaned up the clutters in my apartment...

Had John Legend playing on Bose...

Lit the apple & cinnamon scented candle from Ikea...

Made tiramisu...

Did a little crazy dance to club music, in my comfy PeeJay's...

Called mama and papa to discuss about vacations...

And... I shall call it a night.

I think, I'm getting too comfortable in my skin.

PS:

Rejected a $1000 grant offered by university.

Decisions decisions decisions.

PPS:

This week's Modern Family "Mother's day" episode is hilarious. Don't forget it's mother's day this Sunday!

I'm a cafe junkie.

2011-05-01T12:28:00.024+10:00

I love cafe food and I love coffee.

The best thing is, there are so many awesome cafes around Melbourne. It's a dog-eat-dog world in the cafe scene but of course, I see that as a good thing.

With healthy competition, brings quality and innovations. They are driven to do the best to retain and attract picky customers who are spoilt with choices. They experiment with spices for exquisite flavors, they use the best and fresh ingredients, they serve the best coffee...
These are food made with love.
Well, they have to be.

As of this year, I have made a pact with couple of friends to embark on our foodie adventure around Melbourne. I have always loved brunch so I can't be any more excited.

Here are some of the places that we visited and liked:

Campos Coffee

144 Elgin Street, Carlton

Shan was the one who discovered this place because it's just less than 5 minutes down the road from her apartment. Ever since we tried it, it's been her favourite go-to place for desperate caffeine fix during assignment periods.

SO CUTE RIGHT.

Beside the usual coffee, they also serve coffee using a siphon coffee maker. It was something rather foreign to me. After a brief explanation from the barista, we were told that it's actually something similar to wine. The one served that day has grapefruit and blackcurrant notes with citrus like acidity and sweet finish.

Knowing myself, who's extremely susceptible to anything "new", I tried it.

To be honest, it's not really my cup of tea because I love milk in my coffee.

We also had salmon and aubergine sandwiches, which were very pleasant.

Replete Providore Cafe

302 Barkers Road, Hawthorn.

Replete Providore is, among the list of awards, the winner of "Best Breakfast Restaurant" and "Best Breakfast Establishment" in Victoria. It is also highly recommended by Andri, the super duper harsh food critic, the real foodie, while Wilcent and I are definitely the amateurs.

We ordered a savory dish and coffee each. All I can say is the food was cooked and served with top-notch quality ingredients. extremely tasty. I loved them all despite the fact that the coffee was a little disappointing. Also, sadly, we didn't manage to try one of their most famous dishes, the ricotta hotcakes with lemon curd and strawberries, due to their humongous portion size... we ran out of space for desserts.

I don't mind going back for some ricotta hotcakes lurrrrve.

I order the "Replete Corn Fritters", with smoked salmon, poached egg & a tomato-chilli relish, which I think was absolutely delicious. I especially like the tomato-chilli relish.

The "Replete Breakfast", with poached eggs, spanish sausage, Istra bacon, harsh brown, roasted tomato, field mushroom with toasted sourdough bread.

I think I'm in love with those "block" potatoes, after a few encounters in French restaurants, first in Laduree and then in Bistro Vue.

The picture above was taken by Wilcent, which looks weird neither horizontal nor vertical.

That fella never composes before he snaps. Aish.

De Clieu

187 Gertrude Street Fitzroy

If you love Seven Seeds (opposite Law building) and Brother Baba Budan (Lonsdale, CBD), then you would love their sibling cafe, De Clieu too. Well, at least I did. Due to it's popularity, the place is always crowded, but using our student lifestyle to our advantage, I went De Clieu with Doreen and Shan on a Wednesday morning.

No fuss no queue.

Given that De Clieu serves one of my favourites, Seven Seeds Coffee, the quality of of coffee is unquestionable. Yes. I like my coffee strong. When it comes to the food, we loved it. Maybe, it's because the dishes we ordered are heavily fused with Asian flavours, which I think is very clever.

Doreen's baguette with bacon, eggs and... I forgot. Yikes.

I ordered the rice and lentil pancakes with spiced potatoes and peas or in our own Malaysian terms, "Indian Curry with Tosai"

Shan ordered spring-onion roti with pork neck marinated in honey and hoisin, with a soft-fried egg and barbecue sauce.

Again, in our terms, "Roti canai with honey glazed char siew"

SUPER YUMMY.

The Hardware Societe

120 Hardware Street, Melbourne

Hardware Societe tops my list of favourite brunch/breakfast places, replacing my previous favourite, MART 130. Just a simple click in Google, you will be greeted with list of food bloggers confessing their love for this gem in the city.

This is my third visit there and I really don't mind going back for more. The dishes are mainly French and Spanish fused. I've tried dishes from both their lunch and breakfast menus. With different variations of baked eggs, fried eggs, scrambled eggs dishes, I couldn't decide on just one. This time, Me and Jess decided to go with a savory and a sweet main.

I thought I couldn't find fault with this place but after this visit, I did.

My advice is, stay off the sweet dishes and stick with the savory ones and be blown away!

Apparently, they change the menu from time to time which is another reason why I should go back to try out other things on the menu.

The signature mocha, which is espresso and chocolate served separately, and you have to mix them together for drinking.

This was the special of the day, vaguely recalling the ingredients which were chorizo, baked yellow bell peppers, chick peas, goat cheese, and perfectly poached eggs. Extremely delicious.

Pineapple brioche. I'm not a fan of pineapples, maybe that's why I didn't find it appealing.

Sigh.

PS:

Easter Break just ended.

Week 9 starting tomorrow. Four more week to SWOT Vac.

WOOHOO

PPS:

In my opinion, cafe food served in Melbourne trumps food served in high-end/famous restaurants in Malaysia.

What a shame.

Sometimes

2011-04-23T15:12:00.004+10:00

You just got tired of waiting.

Judging by my low level of tolerance towards uncertainty, I think sooner or later... I will explode...

Like a time-bomb.

This bad habit of mine

2011-04-16T16:15:00.003+10:00

My current essay is due on Monday at 5.00pm but I still cannot get myself to churn the first paragraph out on the blank doc. that has been staring back at me since Thursday. FML.

I "planned" to finish or at least get it 70% done by today so I can go Yoga on Sunday but I just cannot bring myself to do it. FML.

Information is jam-packed in my brain, arguments and counter-arguments are surfacing as I take in more and more information from various sources.

The structure of the essay is still shifting, it's really up to me to decide on one and deal with it.

Maybe, this is the way I work.

I know if I get started, I can finish it pretty quickly but as it seems, I work best under pressure; my efficiency and creativity only runs at full speed when the clock is ticking.

Being nocturnal actually works to my advantage.

Ironically, I'm not even the biggest fan of stress.

Contradiction is a pain in the ass.

URGH.

Maybe, I like the self-inflicted torture and control.

I restrict myself from going out and ban myself from social invitations so I can stay at home to "work on my essay", while essentially... I'm just... staying at home.

I don't know myself at time.

Or, I dislike the fact that I know myself too well to change the way I work.

Why can't I work just like any other normal human beings, who can finish their work and hand them in a week earlier and be satisfied by whatever that's done?

As Ajahn Brahm said, we should live by the saying, "What's finished is done".

Apparently, I cannot bring myself to finish it because I don't want it to be done.

My theory is, it's due to the mild OCD trait or the "perfectionist" in me, who wants to get things prefect... wants to be certain that what I know is enough to construct my arguments effectively.

But, in reality... nothing is perfect.

And, there's no such thing as "enough".

I need an intervention.

Sigh.

PS:

I feel better after ranting.

PPS:

We are entering week 8 of the semester starting Monday, which means there are only 4 weeks left before we can wrap things up and start preparing for exams.
To be honest, I'm a little bit excited for Swot Vac, as always.

If you don't have enough time, stop going on Facebook.

2011-04-13T10:40:00.004+10:00

It's my last year of undergraduate education but for "life", it has just been the tip of the iceberg.

PS:

It's crunch time!

Two essays due within these two weeks.

After that, I get to enjoy a week of tranquility and bliss.

PPS:

Attending Law Ball on Thursday!

I shall join the party people on the dance floor... it's been more than 6 months.

When birthday takes on a new meaning....

2011-04-10T12:34:00.014+10:00

"I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love"
- Adele -

Celebrated Shan's birthday @ "Where A Girl Goes" yesterday.

I called it, the celebration of friendship and love.

It was simple. It was beautiful.

But I had sugar rush and suffered from the "hangover" after that.

Not cool.

And, that's not just figuratively speaking.

It's been 6 years where we have been through thick and thin.

Not to burst the bubble, but this could have been one of the few opportunities left for us to get together for a celebration like this.

No matter what happens in the future, what we have is friendships cherished above all life's treasures, which eventually becomes part of our shared life-long memories.

I'm a loyal person, especially towards people who are worth my trust and respect.

Most importsntly, I love 'em all.

PS:

Happy birthday to the April babies, Yun Chuan, Xinli and Huey Wen, who celebrated a joint birthday dinner back home, which I couldn't attend.

Much love

PPS:

Melb. Uni. has given me the green light to enroll in summer course over the June/July holidays, yet the coward and over-analytical side of me is contemplating.
Take the leap Ai Ming... TAKE IT!

urgh.

When life's worth celebrating

2011-04-08T17:05:00.007+10:00

Well, it's not like I just gave birth to a child or I've found a cure to a deadly disease... but I'm just genuinely pleased and grateful for the fact that many things are looking pretty optimistic lately.

I've had some rough moments for the past months and disappointment was not uncommon. However, it's uncanny that things are looking up because good news are flowing in and minor achievements are "stumbled upon" as I proceed on with life.

I'm definitely not complaining.

Besides, I like the fact that many of my friends have found love and I was among the first few who were informed.

It makes me feel special. Hehe.

Don't get me wrong, I do like to listen to people's stories on their journey of love because I think they are worth sharing.

To quote a song, "these stories won't mean anything, if you've got no one to tell them to".

What I've learnt lately is that, it's important to let go of the past and not to be too worked up by the future - "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". No matter what happens, there's always a way around it, panicking will just make you feel worse and wounded. One should also remember not to set high expectations then you would be surprised by how easily things in life unfold.

Grief is inevitable but it will pass, so does happiness; they are both temporary. But in order to prolong happiness, one needs to overcome negative emotions in order to be rewarded by positive feelings.

It's actually easier than it sounds.

Okay

I really need to stop being all Buddhist monk-ish, but these are just some life philosophies that I came to realize over the past few years.

I know that many of my friends are currently at the same stage of life as I do, where decisions weigh so much more than we were taught to handle so don't be overwhelmed as things will work out eventually.

PS:

Shan's birthday tea party is tomorrow!

Looking forward to be all girlie with the girls.

PPS:

It's been 15 months and I couldn't be happier.

My "Big" Discovery

2011-04-06T17:31:00.005+10:00

APPLE + PEANUT BUTTER = LOVE

I'm an avid reader of health blogs/health articles and have always come across "peanut butter and apple slices" as one of the perfect grab-n-go snacks. However, it has never occur to me that I should try it out because the idea of that combination is just... YUCK.

But, for the sake of food experimentation or merely out of boredom, I gave it a try and shiettt...

What have I been missing out on?!

Just like the first time I tried layering berry jam and peanut butter on toasts...

FUCK.

It was orgasmic.

PS:
Hello Shan, that's how you cut braces friendly apple slices.

PPS:

I love Adele

My Reflections on Choice

2011-04-03T14:16:00.011+10:00

I went to a Sunday service at a church this morning. It's my very first visit to a church in my entire life.

And gawd, all I can say is that it's such a powerful and extraordinary experience for me, to the extend of numbing my mind for the duration of my tram ride home and having uncontrollable streams of tears flowing down my face during the service.

O.o

There were so many thoughts going through my head. Strong words such as, "Commitment", "Devotion", "Loyalty", "Family" and "Personal choice"... which were all going round in circles and I had to contemplate which one, to be the most important in justifying my choice of religion.

To begin with, I believe that religion plays an incredibly important part in everyone's life, might it be Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam or some even call "Apple" their religion. But, the point is, it doesn't matter what your choice is, "religion" is a platform or instrument that gives a person faith and hope, giving one the mental strength to go through obstacles in life. To achieve greater good, you need to believe that it is achievable and you will have the motivation to strive for it. Religion also provides people a group to belong, the needed social inclusivity to function in everyday life.

That, has always been my understanding towards living one's life, which I think has changed me to become who I am today. Trust me, I have come a long way since high school. In practical sense, I think it really is a form of psychological empowerment.

Anyway, I would like to think that I'm a religious person and I believe strongly in supernatural power because I had experienced it myself, for numerous times. However, I don't like being labelled as "a Buddhist" or "a Christian", which is why I'm open to religious teachings and I respect them from the bottom of my heart.

Different religions constitute different school of thoughts, I am a person who is willingly expose myself to them and learn about the messages that I personally think are worth taking on board. That's just my own way of learning and to self-enrich.

There was once in my tutorial, we were asked to express our thoughts on the topic,

"If one's choice of religion is bounded by family tradition or can it be a form of personal choice?"

My stance is, my religion choice is the same as my family's, what religion I chose, was based on what I was taught in my growing process, by my family. I know there are many people out there who would disagree entirely and I respect that too.

Before I came over to study, my dad acknowledged me of the fact that, I have the freedom to choose my religion. But at the end of the day, I have decided to honour my family's choice of religion because in my opinion, you can't change what you have always believed in for the past 22 years within a year or two, let alone in terms of days.

I was brought up to go to the Chinese temple for prayers since I was a kid. I was educated of the superstitions and religious ceremonies as I was growing up. I was told to lite incense sticks whenever I want to make tribute to my ancestors. So, I don't think I'm willing to give up such big part of my life nor I am ready to make that decision for myself in terms of religion choices.

However, when it comes to a turning point when I might have to choose again, I would weigh my options and choose again. For example, in a situation when my life partner happens to have a different religious belief or my parents decided to change what they used to believe in.

Therefore, I still opt for the middle ground as of now, that is I practice my family's religion yet I have high respect towards other religions and willing to learn about them from time to time.

To be honest, if I wasn't prompted or challenged, I would not have realized how strong my religious belief is.

PS:

I apologize for such lengthy post on a relaxing Sunday so to balance up the serious tone, here's a joke I came across while watching videos of Ajahn Brahm. HAHA.

Here's the story about the four stages of life in terms of Santa Claus:

"When you're very young, you believe in Santa Claus...

When you sorta become a teenager, you don't believe in Santa Claus...

When you become an adult in your 20s or 30s, you dress up as Santa Claus...
And the last stage of life, you look like Santa Claus!"

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Yes, I find that incredibly hilarious.

PPS:

Sigh. I don't think people would have given so much thought into a causal visit to the church but as I said earlier, I tend to over analyse everything.

To my defense, at least I can come to a conclusion

Let's Salsa!

2011-03-31T20:21:00.011+11:00

I have always loved Mexican food but without realizing it.

What I meant by that is, I used to love going to Chilli's in Malaysia but I wasn't aware that the food they served are predominantly Mexican infused.

I just thought it's All-American because of the diner style setting.

When I was in the States, I noticed that Mexican eateries were everywhere and Noelle introduced me to Chipotle Mexican Grill, which had me hooked on Mexican food ever since.

I love avocados. I love beans. I love salsa. I love sour cream. I love guacamole. I love tortillas.

Add that all up, I know I have found bliss.

Hallelujah.

In brief, Chipotle is actually a chain of fast-casual restaurants where you can customize the meat and toppings for your choice of burritos, fajita burritos, burrito bowls, tacos and salads.

THEY ARE SO GOOD.

But, once again, I was definitely puzzled with choices.

@_@

Was wondering if I could buy the franchising licence and bring them over to Australia... Hmm...

Look at the colors...

HOW PWETTY.

And the size of a normal burrito...

I told Sumera, "It's like the size of a new born baby"

O.o

Everything is super-sized in the States. Well, not like we have not been warned.

Anyway, my Mexican food craving was compounding since I came back to Melbourne and I had been keeping an eye out for something similar here. But, I have heard good things about this Mexican place on Collins Street, called Mamasita. So, Shan, Doreen and I went to try it out.

In fact, it was the second visit that we managed to dine-in because the place is so popular, it's always full-house. When we were there for the first time at 7pm, we were turned away as we had to wait for 2 hours! We were determined and decided to try again the following week, arriving at the door at 12pm, which is the advertised opening time.

STILL, the queue was already a mile long (Okay, I exaggerate) and we were given the window seats instead of a table.

Ah, beggars can't be choosers. We took the offer anyway.

Going through the text sent by Kevin, which is a list of the MUST-HAVES from the menu.

And, pretty pictures of us. Of course.

My verdict:

The food was really awesome. It's really reaally good quality Mexican food cooked with careful choices of fresh ingredients and flavors. I loved it.

Actually, WE loved it.

Three of us went home and clicked "I like it" in urbanspoon.com. hehe.

It's dissimilar to what I had in the States because Chipotle is more like cheap-eat and Mamasita is skewed towards fine/casual dining, which is also a place I cannot frequent.

But, I would definitely bring my parents to try it out when they come over at the end of the year.

PS:

"It's Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!"
Damn you Rebecca Black. Damn you.

PPS:

Future is looking very vague but as long as I have faith, hopefully everything will fall into place like they always do.

Note to self: Only happy thoughts allowed

Because I feel generous

2011-03-29T15:15:00.008+11:00

What happened just 10 minutes ago was...

I have a sleeping account with Wespac, which I get charged $5 every month so I thought it is economical to close it. I had been putting it off for quite awhile but as of today, I finally decided to make the call to terminate it.

Maybe it's reached the level where monetary cost exceeds the sentimental value I attached to it. Well, it's my very first bank account when I first came here 6 years ago :(

Meh, I'm a sensitive person like that.

Besides, I do have the bad habit of hoarding so in this case, it's in the form of savings accounts.

pheesh.

Anyway, made the call, talked to the Australian (NOT indian, they don't outsource anymore) on the other side of the line, went through the mandatory identification and security procedure yada yada yada.. then....

"Oh, there's an interest of 1 cent in your account", she pointed out.

"So?", I asked.

O.o

"There are two options of what you can do about it, you can either go to the branch to claim the interest or you can donate it to the Westpac Charity Foundation", she explained.

"Ah, I don't mind donating it then". I layan-ed.

"So, you have decided to donate 1 cent to the Westpac Charity Foundation?", She reconfirmed.

"Yarrr".

And, she some more thanked me.

ABOH LEH?!

If I were to choose the other option, here are the opportunity costs:

The need to take 20 minutes out of my precious time
Walk to the nearest Wetspac branch office, which is on Lygon st.
Take a number and queue up if there's a line
Go the counter and explain my intention of claiming an interest of 1 cent
The need of filling in papers and providing account details, which I dislike.
Wait for them to issue me a cheque of $0.01 (WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT IN COIN FORM)
Pay visit to my current bank and more Q-ing, more filling in of forms to bank in that cheque
More waiting on cheque clearing (Finance taught me that it's gonna take 3 - 5 days) before I can have access to the funds

After weighing the costs and benefits, I'm happy with my decision.

I've made my contribution to the society today.

You should do too!

I snorted at the last part.

PS:

I watched "The Blindside" again and absolutely love the warm feeling it conjured.

PPS:

Because I think it's pretty.

Parents

2011-03-25T21:30:00.006+11:00

My parents are the most important people in my life, they are the people who raised me and guided me to become who I am today. The importance does amplify when you're the only kid of the family, a really small nuclear family.

I don't have to seek attention. Instead, I've been trying to avoid being put in the spotlight all the time.

On top of that, being an only child is not all about the glamor and glory you people have in your minds. To be frank, I don't have any younger brother and sister to recruit for my "Operation Rebel" or there is no older sibling to shed light on the option of not following my parents' orders. I definitely cannot play the blame game either. So, it's just me against my parents from the beginning til the end.

All I'm saying is, there is a different set of challenges and battles to go through for us. Contrary to everyone's belief, we definitely didn't have it easier than anyone else.

Since I was young up til my secondary education, my mum was the one who had full responsibility over everything; taking care of my meals, laundry, school work, tuitions, friends, and basically all the components outlined in the Maslow's hierachy of needs. My mum was a full time mum/housewife and her life essentially revolved around me.

My dad on the other hand, is the cool dad who listens to Hitz.fm, the one who bought me toys/electronic gadgets, organized family trips, gave me permissions for sleepovers, drove me and my friends to KL for our "excursion".

Let's just say, my dad was the "good guy" while mum was always the "bad guy" in the growing process.

As I become older, I gradually realized a shift or change in my relationship with mum and dad. Ever since I'd come overseas, unconsciously, I tend to go to my dad for advice on my education, accommodations or major decisions-making situations. Subsequently, my mum and I had become distant, as our conversation topics only revolve around updates on my extended family members or just letting her know what I have been up to.

I guess, the best way to put it, our conversation is categorized as the "casual chat", which I tend to dismiss it as something insignificant on a daily basis. I'm not a fan of "chatting" on the phone, because I won't be able to multi-task. pffft.

Anyway, I know my mum felt it too because sarcastic remarks such as, "Go talk to your dad lor, you tell him everything" are not uncommon in our conversations from time to time. But, my dad and I don't mind it because we acknowledge the fact that, my mum is still learning to let me go.

Here's an insight from a psychology student, do bear in mind that learning extends across one's entire life span. The day we stop learning is the day we die or until we are nyanyuk. How encouraging.

However, I believe that this shift is inevitable as we move from one stage to the other in the growing process. I am sure when marriage or the idea of having kids has taken the center stage of my life, I would be running back to my mum for advice and guidance until she screams.

Nah, I know she won't.

Family always comes first for me no matter what, always.

Also, the cliche does it for me again, absence does make the heart grows fonder.

PS:

What a Saturday lazing at home in PJs.

I made french toast for myself. YUM.

PPS:

Ah, had a discussion with my dad on my concern in furthering my studies.

He assured me, "Don't have the wrong impression that you're leeching off your family, your education is our responsibility."

All I need, is support from people I love and respect, that too include friends I deemed closest to me :)

Verbal Diarrhea..

2011-03-23T13:51:00.005+11:00

My imaginary verbal diarrhea did not happen as well as I expected it to be but I have so many thoughts in my head that require sorting out.

Well, mostly for the future, on what am I going to do after graduation [cue "Black Swan" music]

Irrelevant, but I like the suspense.

So. my answer is..

I DON'T KNOW.

Actually, I do know.. I do know that there are opportunities and options out there but the problem with it is, there are too many of them.

Making choices is not my favourite thing and definitely not my forte, because I like to over analyse everything before I commit.

Yes, that includes choosing cereals or just spaghetti sauces in the supermarket. The more homogeneous the item is, the harder for me to make decisions.

I also know that, I am a person who is interested in anything and everything and I can master them pretty quickly (except for accounting, of course) so I am not sure if I'm able to commit in any specific field because I tend to get bored easily. Unless, there's a continual supply of intellectually stimulating learning opportunities along the way to keep me engaged.

MEH.

My "Can-Do" attitude, coupled with my, "Been-there-done-that" attitude has often pushed me to jump on exciting new experiences and move on after I've done it. As of now, I am not even sure if that's a positive thing or a negative thing.

As cliche as it can get, maybe time will tell.

I also acknowledge the fact that, one day... I might end up leaving Melbourne for good when there's nothing left here for me to pursue, mainly due to the limitations and restrictions beyond my control .

When that day comes... the day when I have made up my mind on what am I going to do... I would prepare myself for it and steer myself towards attaining better and bigger achievements else where, a place where I would be appreciated... a place where I can contribute and make changes.

To be honest, I'm not ready to leave yet.

And no, it's not because I haven't had enough fun in Melbourne, more like I think there is so much more to learn while I'm here and I might as well use this opportunity to my advantage.

One more year, I'm gonna give myself one year and *fingers and toes crossed*...

That's all I need to be ready.

Gawd, I don't even camwhore anymore.

This picture is just to... you know... remind you of my face.

PS:

I'm doing Finance 101 this semester, which I'm glad I did because now I have so much more respect for what my dad's been doing for the past 30 years, just to keep food on the table and to afford my overseas education.

PPS:

YOGA TODAY!

It's been 3 months.

My Blogging Itch

2011-03-09T22:39:00.005+11:00

I know I know. It's been...... ages since I last blogged and now there's the itch, needed to be scratched.

But, I have full day of classes today so I will bear with the itch for the rest of the hours and blog my heart out when I'm back home at night.

I'm busy like that.

Actually, no. Not really.

I only have classes on two days of the week.

The best thing is, I have no idea where do the rest of the days go.

That's all.

Things I Love

2010-11-20T23:33:00.006+11:00

I love all these petty things in life that make me smile, from the bottom of my heart.

As I said, I'm easily amazed and contented.

It could be just the sight of the clear blue sky when I open my eyes after a good night's sleep...

Hearing about stories of my friends embarking on a journey of love with another person... because I think love is beautiful and it's even more so when two people love each other...

Receiving random texts or Facebook tags from friends, letting me know that I'm not forgotten..

Or when a friend sends me songs that she loves and I ended up loving them too...

Or just stumbling upon a string quartet version of Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" and having someone to gush with me.

People might not find these things significant, but for me.. they do.

Maybe that's why I don't hold grudge anymore or don't get upset by not having things within my reach because I get distracted by these mundane things happening as I go.

Anyway, I came across this book when we were in kikki K., Chadstone.

Seriously, I was like..

Hey, I'm capable of producing something like this okay!

That's practically story of my life.

I turned the pages and found the following:

which is exactly what I always say to people!

Yes.

FYI, I do give people lectures on how to be happy and "Rise Above" has always been my ultimate advice.

Gotta love kikki.K

If only I had extra cash, I would go crazy on those memory books and photo scrapbooks.

They have memory books for "My Child", where you can document your child's first word, first day at school, first milestones and birthday celebrations!

and, they also have family calenders where you can fill in chores for every family members.

Xinli commented,

"You'll be a crazy scrapbook mom"

I KNOW RIGHT.

I'm a sucker for all these things because I'm a sentimental person.

Also, I'm a forgetful person, I need to put everything on papers so I can remind myself of the perks in life.

bwhahaha.

PS:

CANNOT WAIT TO GO HOME ALREADY

OMFGGGG

JEEEEZZZZ

PPS:

Meh, don't feel like spending money

Too soon?

2010-11-15T10:52:00.005+11:00

Last "academic" week for the year before I can chuck all my notes under my bed

Well, actually... last THREE days to be exact

I came to realize that I'm extremely capable of wiping out the content I learnt in each semester once I've stepped out of the exam hall.

It's like my mind can just go... BLANK.

And whenever people say, "Oh, we learnt this in first year!" but I would go like, "DID WE??"

I seriously cannot remember, I swear.

It worries me at times.

Well , I guess all these stuffs never quite make it to my long-term memory.

pheeesh

After my paper, I can start to wrap things up and head back to Malaysia to get fat.

I kinda forgotten what it felt like to be away from Melbourne for 3 whole months.

Bad memory, remember?

And, I'm gonna miss all these faces I see so often in Melbourne.

No BBM. No Whatsapp and I barely go on MSN.... What would I do when I miss you guys?

Just the thought of that makes me tear up a little bit.

Another thing that I would miss after I've gone back would be the coffee and the fact that how easily decent coffee is available here.

You have no idea how annoyed I was because I couldn't get a cup of decent tasting coffee when I was back there.

Not even in nice restaurants/cafes! or STARBUCKS!

I'm not extremely picky or particular when it comes to coffee but..

the coffee in Starbucks just tasted like coffee-flavoured-milk. YUCK.

And, as much as I love Delicious Cafe, the coffee was beyond fucked up. SO WATERY OMFG.

All these places I went to, to order coffee, never fail to leave me disappointed.

ARGH.

In such cases where even I can tell the coffee is bad, then the coffee IS seriously bad.

I should really opt for RM1.50 kopi from kopitiam instead. Period.

Anyhow, travel plans had been made to keep myself occupied for that 3 whole months:

Singapore. Hong Kong. Bali. Bangkok.

My mum was telling me how my dad had to keep going back to the money changer because I'm gonna need...

SGD for Singapore..

HKD for Hong Kong...

Rupiah for Bali...

Baht for Bangkok...

and EURO (Jus-in-case. heh)

Shusssh

Life is good.

PS:

So many good movies lately.

I'm gonna go crazy with that RM8 movie tickets in Malaysia.

PPS:

Although I'm closing another chapter of my life but thinking back on the things that happened and the people I met along the way...

it puts a smile on my face.

I'm glad that I can learn from them all.

FYI, despite my bad memory, I'm a fast learner.

bwhahaa.

Good Luck Peepo

2010-11-07T22:22:00.004+11:00

Since I'm on a crapping streak (not literally), I might as well use my break from my essay to write something here.

My essay is due tomorrow at 4pm

Knowing myself, I won't stop editing until the clock strikes 3pm

Because I'm conscientious and compulsive like that.

Anyway, exams period's officially starting tomorrow, which also means SWOT Vac just ended.

O.o

OH GAWWD.

I seriously cannot remember what did I do over the week.

I looked at my Moleskine planner and the page for this week is annoyingly clean.

The two boxes for Saturday and Sunday have nothing written down in them.

NOTHING. BLANK. KOSONG. YEE-LEK.

wtf.

All I can recall is, I woke up at 8am every morning and I would usually text Shan and Whatsapp David.

Seriously

I asked him to morning call me and he would send me a text,

"WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPP"

-.-

as if sending messages in CAPS is gonna work the same as shouting.

Thank god I have incredible determination so I'm usually up by then.

*pats on the shoulder*

And, this is a good example of what I meant by BBM syndrome.

That is, you press "enter"/"send" after every individual phrase or after every "hahahaha"

It's just reflex.

That's a total of FIVE messages right there!

It's gonna cost me $0.25 every time I press "enter".

Cish.

But, I'm not complaining given that I have $450 to spend.

All I'm saying is that, I'm excited to see the number under "Quantity of SMS" on my phone bill for this month.

Okay.

Break time is up.

Good Luck to all my friends who are going to have their first paper tomorrow!

PS:

After avoiding the scale for a week, I found out that I put on weight.

ARGHHH.

Well, each box of digestive biscuits weighs 400g and I've finished 3 and a 1/2 boxes this week....

I guess the maths work is correct then.

PPS:

I do not tolerate uncertainties.

Take it or leave it

Period.

Ain't that some shit.

2010-11-06T09:49:00.012+11:00

WHAI ... WHAAAAII... WHAAAAAAAI

As absurd as this sounds...
My dad gave the green light for getting a Hermes Kelly as graduation gift (or so he said)

He's been asking around for prices and where's the best place to get it.

He even urged me to place an order at the Melbourne outlet, so they will have the bag stocked in time, by the end of next year.

I have my eyes on that Hermes Kelly So Black Bag, 35 cm, from the F/W 2010 collection.

Apparently, it's gonna cost RM35k for a black Kelly with silver hardware.
O.O
I was like..
FUCK YOU... F..FFU...FUCK YOU.

NOOOO DAD!

I'm not spending 35 grand on a frigging bag!

and he went, "We'll talk more about it when you get back"

WHAAAAT?!

But dad... Let's face it...

You're no Richard Branson and I'm no Pricess of York.

PS:
Extremely time poor... til Monday
kthanxbai.

The World According to Ai Ming

Old friend

*BONK BONK BONK BONK*

Something I Love...

Baby is Home

Happy New Year!

Of course it means Everything

Backdated: Post written on Christmas Day

I'm not overreacting.

It's my turn.

My dad's graduation was 36 years ago

Graduation Ceremony Virgin

There's Something About Toms

Living the Life of a Tourist

My Sentiments.

How long is this mania gonna last?

Living in the Present

Loved

The beating heart of the American dream

The Age of List-making

"I'm falling down, like it's holy ground"

When I try to Shrink Myself

OHSOTRUE

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life"

Spontaneity is Gold

Where's the element of surprise?

Life

"Deal with it"

"Hakuna Matata" - I might have overused it.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

"Let Me Let You Go"

"What if the Secret to Success Is Failure?"

It's foolproof.

Ouch.

Congratulations, Dory.

Embrace Colors

Tune for a Cozy Saturday Night

Listen to Your Parents

It's A Love Story

The Big Picture.

I'm A Tea Lady

My 2 cents on Make-up

Who are we to whine about life?

But the hardest part of letting go, is trying to find a way to let you know.

Follow me back into the Sun

"Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support"

One year older

Just to let you know oh whoa oh oh...

Ola~

What has changed.

Baby is Home

Chic-flick Night

What the heck.

It's the last paper syndrome

I can explain

Maybe 18 months too early

When kids say the meanest things

It's Crunch Time

I swear I shower daily

What Do I Know

Because It's Friday.

I'm a cafe junkie.

Sometimes

This bad habit of mine

If you don't have enough time, stop going on Facebook.

When birthday takes on a new meaning....

When life's worth celebrating

My "Big" Discovery

My Reflections on Choice

Let's Salsa!

Because I feel generous

Parents

Verbal Diarrhea..

My Blogging Itch

Things I Love

Too soon?

Good Luck Peepo

Ain't that some shit.

BONK BONK BONK BONK